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Why do I bother?

A page in the diary "A Day in the Life Of..."
Written by babz 29. Jun 2008 11:32 PM

I'm currently very frustrated. This whole one handed thing is giving me the s***s, big time. I am an independent person, and I hate feeling helpless or that I have to rely on someone. So the little things like my teammate having to tie up my shoelaces at training and a lady on the train helping me put my jacket on cause I couldn't do it all make me really agitated. As you can imagine, my Mum having to cut my dinner up for me in front of my step family was pretty humiliating for me. I've even had to buy velcro shoes because I couldn't keep wearing my slippers everywhere. I'm sick of being so helpless, because it brings up memories that I would rather not think about.

My step siblings are very opinionated people, and they like having debates, which I don't personally have a problem with. Tonight at dinner though they managed to talk about my two favourite (note the sarcasm) topics: rape and hospital. So when I'm busy trying not to think about two of the reasons why I don't like feeling helpless they have to go and debate about them across the f*****g dinner table. Then they started talking about their Mum, who suffers one of the psychiatric conditions that I also have, and believe me, the way they talk of her isn't favourable. I sometimes wonder if they talk about me the same way behind my back. Not many people can make me feel as ashamed as they can. I feel like I'm something they scraped off their shoe with a stick.

So to top off a really awesomely c**p day, we've been pulled from national championships. I worked my ass off for this, I put myself through hell and my hard work is worth jack all because someone else couldn't be bothered putting in the work. It isn't fair, it is not f*****g fair. I thought that things were finally starting to look up again, that I'd finally done something good, but it appears that I was wrong.

So here I am at home alone, unable to do anything for myself cause of my stupid arm, feeling like dirt because of my step siblings and thinking about HIM because they decided that debating about appropriate punishment of rapists is acceptable dinner conversation. I don't think about it as much as I used to, but sometimes I am reminded and it becomes this all-consuming, soul-crushing hatred. I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't deserve what he did to me, he was supposed to help me. I hate that he didn't go to jail, I hate that I might walk past him on the street anytime and not even know. I hate the fact that I don't remember what he looks like, because a fear is so much worse when you don't know what you're afraid of. I hate that he can still get to me, I hate that he can still make me break down, I hate that I can't be strong. I hate it that he can make me think of ending it all as a way of just making the pain go away. I hate that tonight I am alone with my hate.

I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to live but I certainly don't want to die. I feel... stuck. Stuck in the no mans land between illness and recovery, the point where it is just as far to turn back as it is to keep going, but turning back is that little bit easier because of its familiarity. Oh my goodness, I'm being soooo melodramatic. I think I just need to go to bed. In the morning, today and all its crapiness and disappointment will be behind me and I can move on.

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Comments from the community:

Babz

A night's sleep might help get things back into perspective... but you have had it tough... maybe now was not the right time to get the scars removed... but it is done now... you need to heal... you will get movement back ... but it will take time... I am sorry to hear about the nationals ... i know you wanted very much to go to them ... not sure what it means for the rest of your skating agenda...

Your step family are very insensitive... maybe from ignorance maybe deliberate... but telling them would not be a good idea ... as you said what do they say behind your back...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 30. Jun 2008 12:05 AM

You bother because you're only 21 and you have an immense array of possibilities still before you. You should make choices which you believe will best serve your interests. Use the people around you if you have to, it sounds as though that's what they deserve.

Written by TerryN, 30. Jun 2008 12:31 AM

Babz

You bother because you want to get well and finish your degree.

I am stunned you are staying by yourself. Surely mum and Richard's would be easier while you are recovering from the surgery.

Sorry the debate topic was raised and the way they spoke about their mother - they need someone to explain mental illness to them and perhaps one day you will be strong enough to tell them about your illness.

Go Babz!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 30. Jun 2008 06:41 PM

Babz,
Your arm will take time to heal, but it is a big step in your recovery and that would have taken alot to do knowing how it would put back your skating.
I agree totally with you on the inappropriate conversation at any time knowing the effect that the topic has had on your life but at the dinner table - that is so inconsiderate.
Sorry about the Nationals but you are a fighter and there are alot more skating challenges out there for you.
I really do wish you all the best for your skating future, your health and your life. You are a strong young lady who faces her challenges with determination, and by saying that you will fight these as well.
Hope you are settling into your new house. Take care of yourself and even though something so terrible happened to you, you are dealing with it in your own way and your own time. No one can tell you how to feel about something so horrible.
Thinking of you and sending you my support and friendship
Take care
Lynne

Written by chookie67, 30. Jun 2008 11:54 PM

You did well.....think back..you tolerating a meal under those conditions is really good and shows how far you have come. Try not to topple of your perch because you are a bit directionless for a short time, you'll be hard back at Uni soon enough.

Written by maple, 1. Jul 2008 10:14 AM