The surgery, the reunion and training
A page in the diary "A Day in the Life Of..."
Written by babz 22. Jun 2008 03:07 PM
I had my surgery to reshape my self harm scars yesterday. Aside from a problem with the anaesthetic and my arm twitching I don't really know how I went - post op appointment is Tuesday week. Until then I am stuck in a sling and my arm is taped, padded and bandaged. I have antibiotics to prevent infection and panadeine forte to try and control the pain. It was alright yesterday because the surgeon pumped it full of local, but since I woke up this morning it hurts like nothing on this earth despite the painkillers.
The surgery is over, but now is the worst part - waiting to see what my arm looks like. I'm not allowed to take the bandages off, for obvious reasons, bit the suspense is killing me. I can see a little tiny part of the incision at the top of the bandage, and it isn't a pretty sight, although I'm not sure why I was expecting it would be.
I had underestimated the seriousness of the operation, and I am finding it quite difficult to cope living on my own. So many things that I took for granted I can't do, like tieing my hair back, doing up my shoelaces, sleeping normally, feeding my pets. The whole situation is generally quite distressing, especially when I remember that I have no one to blame for this situation but me - if I hadn't butchered myself, I wouldn't have had the scars and wouldn't have needed the surgery. I know it is no use crying over spilt milk, but I think I'm entitled to be a bit emotional for a few days.
Yesterday was one of my old school friend's 21st. I went along, and I'm so glad I did, because I haven't seen any of them (except 2 who used to skate with me) in 6 years. Some of them I went to primary school with, and one of them I even went to kinder with. It was so great to see them all again, and I'm glad I went, although I got tired pretty quickly.
Anyway, enough of my two-finger-typing rambling, I've gotta go to training. This could be interesting.