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The Million Dollar ear part 2

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Written by keller 20. May 2008 08:01 PM

This afternoon my trip to the surgeon went well I guess in that there is no sign of cholesteatoma or mastoid activity(which can affect the skull lining nad brain tissue, this is what happened before how I got the million dollar ear. There was a build up of fluid in my middle ear behind the drum and it was drained in what I can only say is one of the worst procedures I have ever had. My hearing was tested pre and post nad I have dropped about 15 % more than I was so now have about 10% hearing on that side I came home about an hour and a half ago and am going to bed; it has been an awful sort of day.

Even with this “good news” my mood has not lifted, I am just disappointed in myself and don’t think I will ever get any of this right or more functional or whatever the term is. Of all the people in the world you think I would be able to tell this sort of stuff- my fear my dread my suicidal thoughts too I can’t. To Hubby nad the clinical psychologist I cant, its not going to get better I think I have accepted that now. I have tried, I am empty now.

The psych who I just spoke to now tells me to sleep and rest and some of the darkness may lift.

OK I can only try

Liz
XXX

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Comments from the community:

U & I hav more in common than I thort!
Cholesteatoma-sounds sorta like cholesterol... gallbladder,
& mastoid is like mastitis... breast abscess!
Does that mean they thort u had a swollen gallbladder & festy boob in your ear???
LMFAO
Rest up hun
Love u
xxx

Written by Gyps, 20. May 2008 08:26 PM

Dear Liz

So sorry to hear you had a yuk day. I do hope you get some good, healing rest and that you feel brighter tomorrow.

Thinking of you

Dolly x

Written by Deleted_User, 20. May 2008 08:56 PM

Liz,
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you hun...Glad you got some good news..I wish there was more good news for you...
Take care Liz..And may the sun shine over you brightly..
Lots of love,
Jo xoxo :-D

Written by JoanneC84, 20. May 2008 09:33 PM

I'm glad you're no longer aiming for a 2 million dollar ear, but I wish it were better news. Sending you hugs xo

Written by babz, 20. May 2008 10:06 PM

Hi Liz.

Give yourself some time to process what the surgeon has told you, even though its good news in comparison to what it could have been.

Please give some thought to opening up to your psychologist about how you are really feeling on the inside and maybe one day you may feel like talking to hubby. If you can't talk to the psychologist, write it down and then if you feel you have enough trust in her, then give it to her to read. Don't think about what your writing, just write as the words come into your head. That's how I first managed to open up to my psych, and gradually after quite a few writings I can now talk. I still write occasionally when I'm feeling especially down, but mostly now after a period of time I actually look forward to seeing the psych and having a chat.

Take care and get some good rest.

Luv Karen xxx

Written by fly, 20. May 2008 11:28 PM

Keller

After getting through the tears, I am glad to read it was good news on the ear front. I hope you afre feeling better today.

Go Keller!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 21. May 2008 12:57 PM

PS Keller

Good news that you don't need more operations - I got that from my tears and hope that is right. Sorry the hearing has dropped and there is more hearing loss.

Be strong Keller!!!

Go Keller!!!

Mrs Studying1

PS sorry don't mean to upset you but I don't think the first entry clearly said what I meant.

Written by studying1, 21. May 2008 12:59 PM

KELLER sweety so the drs news wasnt all bad.I feel for you with so much uncertainly and keeping all your feelings locked inside,the mask has to come off some time,but do it slowly start with writting your feelings for your psych.Whether handicap or not youre still a loving ,caring compasionate person.I find I build up such fears whenever seeing a specialist,I delay it so much.Please take some time for you,do something special that you dont often do..My keyboard space bar is caput so I had better go buy a new one.My thoughts and prays are for you.THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU. TC

Written by Deleted_User, 21. May 2008 03:20 PM

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