About depression Help with depression Help for relatives Society DepNet Community My Depression

Read diary

a life worth living?

A page in the diary ""
Written by keller 8. May 2008 07:57 PM

So on Tuesday I saw the psychologist and my god again I can’t begin to describe what I feel. We go though the usual pleasantries and she is amazed when I tell her I have gone back to work.
Are you ready she asks?
F…ked if I know I say, it just sort of snowballed with a call from an old contact.
And I told her the sort of work I will be doing and again she asked if I was ready for that, and I said guess I will just have to see. (pun)
We chatted for a bit more and I said I had been having difficulty with how people were reacting to me going back to work, hubby thought it was great, friends think its all great, even the kids think it is all great. But me…..I feel like I am doing what needs to be done to live a life worth living, you know this is one of the pieces in the jigsaw. Its not the life I had before but it’s a life.
She probes more and I feel the familiar sensation of slipping away of loosing words and of tuning out and shutting down. She asks me why it bothers me so that others are so happy for me, I don’t know I say, I don’t know what it is.
But I think I know, its like I am not back to my usual work self, sure the suit is on and I am talking the talk but its not me, its not right. She asks what is wrong and I tell her I am not well, I am still not well, I don’t feel right.
After some more conversation she tells me – you don’t have to do this you know, you don’t have to work. You have a choice about what you do.
I don’t I don’t feel like I have a choice, the image of me is formed with a work role attached.

Today at DBT I could not share. You go round the room and you need to share what’s been happening for you and the skills you are using etc. I tried but the facilitator asked questions and I just couldn’t. I told her to back off I couldn’t share; she told me that’s why you are here. I said very firmly I cant I just can’t. I wasted a whole day trapped in my own head.

At the end of the day the facilitator wants me to stay around, she hits me with a DAS questionnaire because she is worried about me, Yeh it comes out crap again (knew that from my depnet test the other night). She asks me what my plans are over the next few days, and would I call her over the next few days and check in. Here we go again. I agree as a means of escape. I just have to leave, I should not have gone at all, glutton for punishment.

What sits in my head is this.
I need to do the things that make me feel worthwhile or an external view of what is worthwhile but I am still pretending.

If I stop trying to recover and regain some life things I know what there is.
There is suicide again, sitting and lurking and I try to move it away but it sticks fast.

So I am faking it to make it, I am faking what it is I should be doing so I can make my life continue. That’s what is below all this. It’s one or the other, a life worth living or a death. Its not some feeble suicide call for help. It is just my thoughts

« Prev page | Next page »
 

Comments from the community:

Keller

You really need to open up to the DBT facilitator. It is their job to help you get better. It is good you can talk to the psychologist but not so good with the DBT facilitator. Share something with them, even if it is small, it will help you feel better.

Hope work is going okay and you are not overdoing it. If it becomes too much, then you have to take a break from work.

Go Keller!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 8. May 2008 08:14 PM

Hey Liz,

I haven't been around, so haven't been supporting you, but I'm really glad I logged on and read this diary.

Firstly, I just want to say that you are often in my thoughts, and are a bit of a heroine (not sure if I spelt that right) to me. I suspect that you are also to others here...and even though you might not be able to acknowledge it...also to others in the real world.

I think I understand what you are talking about. The fake it to make it business. I've been through hell the last few months with my marriage breakup - it was my worst nightmare come true...but, in the midst of the crisis, when I look at it objectively, from an outsider's perspective I have done amazingly well. People keep telling me how amazed they are, and how strong I am and what a fighter I am. I don't think of myself like that. I just think - well there's actually no choice. If I didn't do all this, I would just lie down and die - so for me, it's not about being a 'fighter' as such, or an 'achiever' -it's just the way I am - the only way I know how to be. I do it, because it's that or give up...die...and I don't want to do that. I don't know if what I am doing (all the proactive things) are good...I can't honestly say whether they are true to me...they are just my survival mechanism. I think this is maybe what you are also talking about. If I've got the wrong end of the stick I'm sorry.

I think it's great that your hubby et. al. are supportive of you going back to work. I have no doubt that you literally shine when you are achieving. Sure...life's not all about achievement, but for some of us achievement is important. I think it's important to be true to ourselves Liz, but it's also important to do what we're good at. Only you know if you're ready for it. Personally, I think you'd thrive. Sometimes we need to take leaps and reap the rewards of achievement to feel good. I think you're a bit like that Liz. I know I am. It's all about balance - doing the soul work -but also just living for the moment and doing what we're good at. Sounds like you're pretty low at the moment - but Liz, I know you've got what it takes. I know you're a winner. You don't realise how strong you are. It's only others that tell you how strong you are. You need to see your own strength Liz. You're a legend.

So please, from someone who really cares about you, really has faith in you, and loves you - please stay safe. Please start having a little faith in yourself Liz. You're a special, wonderful woman.

Lots and lots of love,

Kimberly
xoxo

Written by newlife, 8. May 2008 08:40 PM

Liz

You do what you have to do...

Sharing is fine if you can articulate the emotions... but when you are holding on ... opening your mouth can mean losing it... DBT Facilitator should accept a pass... good she checked with you after she found out what you already knew... DAS score...

Woek is another world... I think your return is good... but i hope you have an opt out clause... or a time out clause when things get too much... be ready to back off if you need to ... otherwise keep doing what you are doing...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 8. May 2008 09:07 PM

Hi Keller,

Sometimes we have to fake it just to make it... I think it's a better option than just curling up and giving up. Fight it with all your might.

Sounds to me like your facilitator is a very caring and compassionate person, someone who is concerned at how you are travelling at the moment, otherwise she wouldn't have asked you to stay back and take a DAS. Please call her over the weekend and see how you go discussing a few things over the phone. It will certainly ease her mind to hear from you.

Hang in there Keller,

Luv fly xxx

Written by fly, 8. May 2008 10:04 PM

Keller

I got your diary entry and I am very sorry that you have made this request. I am trying very hard relate to your situation - DBT (no idea what that is - therapy like CBT), loosing your sight and going back to work, not able to share information to your DBT therapist.

I will continue to read your diaries and watch you progress but I hope one day you may let me reply to them because as newlife said, you are a heroine for being able to do all these things and manage a family as well.

Keep well and I hope one day you realise I was trying to help you/understand your life and not upset you.

Go Keller!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 9. May 2008 02:31 PM

Keller

I know you asked me to not write but your latest diary had me in tears and tears of frustration for not knowing/understanding what you are going through/or gone through with the expensive ear - must have been done before I joined depnet. As I said in it, delete it if it offends you but I truly would like to follow the story and the outcome so if you don't mind me doing that by reading your diaries. I would love to comment if I am able to but I don't really know you and only have limited knowledge about you so I am hoping you might like to know me because I want to know Liz for the person she is and what she is going through with loss of sight, work, DBT and your therapists at DBT and your psychiatrist and psychologist, family commitments/chores and now the ear. Tell me to go again and I will. I don't mean to be pushy with you, I just want to get to know Liz and how she copes so well with what she is going through.

Thank you for your nice words. I would never name you as you have never hurt me in any way.

Go Keller!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 9. May 2008 07:35 PM