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Today in DBT we did the working out what in our life is a priority (things that are important to you or you want done) and what is a demand (things other people want you to do or want done). Also what are the 'wants' (things you want to do because they bring you pleasure or you like doing them) and the 'shoulds' (things you ought to do or have to for some reason).

Think of a seesaw - on the left hand side you have your priorities and your wants, on the right you have your demands and your shoulds. The aim is to get the seesaw in balance. Liz, it seems to me that your demands/shoulds massively outweigh your priorities and wants.

I hear you loud and clear about soul searching but your soul just being empty, so I understand that you won't just be able to magic a priority or a want out of your proverbial hat. Your a smart cookie, so I don't need to tell you that the emptiness is a sucky symptom of depression, so perhaps make your priority at the moment your health - focus on your DBT/mindfulness skills and whatever else you are doing with your treatment plan. Think of something that you want to do and just do it - it doesn't have to be as massive as getting a new job or flying to London, maybe you decide you want to go to a yoga class (I don't know if that's your thing, its just what popped into my head), or something even smaller like allowing yourself 30 minutes a day where you are not a housewife or disabled or blind of any of those other labels you hate - you are just Liz doing what Liz wants to do at that particular time.

Ugh, sorry, I've started preaching. I hope some of this has been useful, if not I hope I haven't offended you!

Written by babz, 28. Feb 2008 09:28 PM

Oh Liz
I can see that you are really doing it hard at the moment. I also know that what is say you have probably already heard a thousand times already. I am going to say it anyway.

You need to keep doing what you are doing, even if it does not seem to be working. It still works.

use your diary here or somewhere else to write sone what you really feel. Swear if you like be and say the things you need to say to your diary. It is strange the effect journalling has.

My main journal. That is the one that only I see is kept under a secure passward on my computer because it really is only what I think and if others read it some would be offeded others would be insulted. I would now be all alone if the contents of that jounal got out. The thing about the journal is that once i write all this negative stuff done that iam feeling and sometimes it takes me a long time. like days to get it out of my system. Eventually it does stop and I know when it is over because I will eventually finish it with a positive line or phrase that means something to me.

You have started on a process that takes time. I know it takes time and I also know how frustrating it gets tring to be better and be normal and do some of the things we used to do. it will happen. With you I suspect that you will and are finding new ways to attack tasks and tackle new problemsfrom different angles. It will happen. It does take time.

Your friend with love care and support always

Bassman

Written by Bassman, 28. Feb 2008 09:52 PM

Liz, is it possible you may be bored? Just a thought....because boredom is an empty feeling and so might be contributing....

Written by wirralie, 29. Feb 2008 08:59 AM

Hey wirralie,

no id ont think so but it is a good point, i crave time alone and i have plenty but i crave more and more, and this is not a good thing, this demonstrates things are not right

I know this is perhaps the exact oppositie to you my friend, and perhaps may not be understandable.

It is what it is

Thanks for the reply, it made me smile just to see your name.


Liz

Written by keller, 29. Feb 2008 09:39 AM

Keller

I think it is a bit of boredom and the out of balance seasaw that babz wrote about.

Christmas and before that, you had your o/s trip and christmas and then the kids were on holidays and now you are by yourself and have to fill in your days. Yes you have roles to fill and I am sure you do them outside school hours, especially P & C.

You need more to excite you. DBT does help but it seems you don't get positives from the group. Talk to the psychiatrist and psychologist about this feeling and see if they can shed any light on it.

Go Keller!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 29. Feb 2008 08:33 PM