the farce that is my life
A page in the diary ""
Written by keller 19. Jun 2008 06:08 PM
After immense pressure I have agreed to see the psychiatrist tomorrow. I am a bit pissed off because what I feel I need is a break and I actually think this is a logical and reasoned approach to my current stress.
Perhaps dumping all the professionals and group for a few weeks may be seen as a sign of action needs to be taken but I still believe in my own self determination.
I have made an undertaking last year to my husband and to my psychologist that if my thoughts are action orientated in terms of suicide then I will speak to one or the other of them, I intend to remain true to this promise.
But it is not enough.
The world wants me to do the things they think I “should do”. See the ENT see the clinical psych and see the psychiatrist and go back to DBT.
I am but an innocent bystander in the farce that is my life and my own self discipline.
I am exhausted by do gooders and people who think they understand. They don’t.
Apparently if I booked a Qld holiday on a resort they wouldn’t be hassling me so much. Its crap its all crap. I am being suffocated by people who believe they are acting in my best interest.
I am however impressed by the coordination skills of my GP and Psychiatrist, these two men make a lot happen, I know why they are critical to my care team….they care.
But they don’t get it. What part of I NEED A BREAK is hard to understand???
I thought it was all straight forward, apparently not. This note probably reads of anger and sarcasm, but no its not it a note of defeat, of I give up, of no one will ever leave me alone again…now that I have mental health issues I will forever be perceived as a danger to myself.
Well…..
Be good and do what they tell you to…
Liz