My trio..OCD + mentally scarred + scared
A page in the diary ""
Written by itsonlyme 6. Nov 2007 11:53 PM
OCD - I understand now, I clean my house like a nut constantly because I want to feel appreciated and accepted. I think to feel loved and normal.
I love the smell of domestos and cleaness of white??? But I have continued this since childhood.
I am scared today.
My shoulders ache. I am hearing things, I am not myself anymore. I cry for little things, I get angry at nothing, I don't feel good enough for anything today. I feel horrible inside myself. I am going overseas next week and I am terrified of everything. I plan to sedate myself. I need to talk to some one, but I am scared of that too. I am trying so hard to be the best I can..a good mum, a good partner, a good worker and good part of this society,but its never good enough and I feel like going to live under Ayers rock. I want to retreat to a desilate place. I have my white flag but no one can see it.