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Written by itsonlyme 10. Aug 2006 01:21 AM

this is my first entry. I feel so alone.
I dont have anybody to talk too. I have no friends, only a horribly demanding job and my children. My partner is not the listening type. My relatives have their own lives and are judgemental. I have a wine..I'm an alco. I cry..I'm emotional. my life consists of boringness and routine and empty dreams. I have thougts of what it would be like ending it. my children get me through. I have had a crap life..always struggled, been abused,been raped, been put down, left alone, tormented, spat on, told I am nothing, it goes on. When does it end?? I only want to be really loved. Im a good person and I wonder what I did to deserve all this. Do I have a sign on my head that says treat me like dirt.I often go to sleep crying and wake up crying. My partner is a controlling person, nice then nasty. Im sick of this life. Sick of working my butt off for what, corparate jerks that just think about their next holiday. Im sick of being hurt then loved by my partner.Always feeling alone, always feeling anxious and dark. When will it end. Im keep trying to live a life thats not really a life at all. If it wasnt for my beautiful children, I know I wouldnt be here.

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Comments from the community:

Hi Itsonlyme,

Welcome to depnet. You have come to the right place If you are looking for compassion and support. Also just for a friendly ear. Its amazing how much support that you can gain from this site. I know your stuggles, I feel for you. Just if ever you need a friendly ear drop me a line. I wish you well on your way to recovery.

Lost

Written by Lost_Is_Me, 10. Aug 2006 02:33 AM

hiya there... hows things??? a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. welcome to the recovery of your life and the coming out!!
:) be happy of the life that you have and that you have a job!! there are so many people out there that are unemployed.
maybe you should try counselling with your partner and then try and explain to him what he is doing to you. if you are stuck in a relationship like that all you want to do is breakfree and become yourself. stop dwindling on the past if you keep thinking it you will get it. have a mindset where you are a queen and expect nothing less treat yourself how you expect to be treated and treat others the same way.. you will get it in return you will gain positive vibes around you.

Written by Anonymous, 10. Aug 2006 11:56 AM

Hi itsonlyme,

Welcome. You are definitely not alone in this world, that's for sure, we actually sound a lot alike! Sounds to me like you put on the mask to get by in the world, but feel completely different on the inside, which is very tiring I know. Are you seeing a counsellor at the moment, because that could be a great help to you, and I hope this site also becomes a comfort to you.

Good luck.

Written by housewife, 10. Aug 2006 03:12 PM

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