how long must this go on
A page in the diary "never thought it would b me."
Written by petemoir 20. Nov 2006 12:51 PM
i'd like to start by saying thanks to everyone who left a comment, i was very supprised to find one from my long lost neice, who i havn't seen or even heard from in almost ten years, it was great to hear from her but unfortunatly she now knows her uncle is a nut.
i have a question. how long will i have to put up with the flashbacks, which seem to be comming more frequently, and the feelings of uselessness? i'm still taking my med's but i don't know why, they don't seem to work. the flashbacks usually leave me shaking and sweating with a foul taste in my mouth. the feeling of lonlyness and uselessness seem to be with me all the time now, and as for sleep, forget it, i toss and turn all night and when i do finally drop off i have pretty bad dreams. it seems like i cant win.
i've said before that once you open the door to suiside and bad thoughts you find you can't close it again, i stand by that comment. some of you guys would know that already, you've been dealing with it for a lot longer than me, does anyone have any idea on how to close that door? i don't, and it's scary.