Eh
A page in the diary ""
Written by Christine24 30. Jan 2008 01:01 PM
Today I feel ok. I've been thinking of my family a lot these past few days, just thinking of how fake they can act and how much they hurt me. I keep getting phone calls from a private number, I tend to ignore them but Chris answers and they hang up. I'm assuming it's my parents checking up on me because they are the only ones who I know that have a private number.
It's my sister's birthday soon and I don't know whether to do the right thing and call her and wish her happy birthday knowing that she's always rude to me or do what her and my family do and not call. I mean no one ever calls me for my birthday or Christmas so why should I call her for her birthday? Or should I do the right thing and call her knowing that she isn't going to care?
This has affected me more than anything, not talking to my family, not knowing if they're ok is breaking my heart but I have tried all that I can do and it's their stubborn ways and pride that get in the way of healing our relationship.
My sister has never had time for me, she's never been there for me in anyway, nor have I felt any love from her. I remember growing up she'd always had time for others but never me. She always used to do things with friends or cousins but never me. Everyday I used to call her and she never had time to talk but when she spoke to anyone else, she'd be on the phone for hours on end.
I remember when my family tried to break Chris and I up and she took me on a "holiday" to QLD. The entire time I was lectured. Her and my mum did everything to tell me Chris was nothing more than a loser and a nobody. When I finally said that's it I didn't want to be with hom just to get them off my back, they were acted nice and loving which I immediately knew was fake because they thought they won.
My mother sent me a text message saying that I should go ahead and kill myself as no one loves me or cares about me. Nice to know my mum feels that way about me.
I just had to get this out.