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..Someone kick me outta my mind..

A page in the diary ".a pLc 4 miE haed..."
Written by JoanneC84 29. Jun 2007 01:29 AM

I hate these thoughts.
I hate myself.
I'm bleeding out,digging deeper,what for?Just to throw it away?
I had a choice many years ago,whether to live or die,for some reason I choose to live.. Why can't I keep that idea going,why do I want to die?Why do I feel like I already am dead?
Don't tell me to get help,I have it already..And look where it got me..
I'm not meant to feel anything but this?Is that what life is trying to show me?That I stuffed up for some reason and this is my punishment!
YOU WIN!!TAKE ME!!!

..And if I bleed,I'll bleed..Knowing you don't care...My wounds cry for the grave and my soul cries for deliverance..

I've hit rock bottom again,I'm stuck and can't climb out..Worse still,I have no voice to yell for help.. I feel numb,I feel dead inside,my veins itch..my head is pounding..my tears are running dry...When will this end?

Jo

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Comments from the community:

Dear Jo

Sending you love and warmth

Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Wolveress, 29. Jun 2007 03:57 AM

Dear Jo

Yes it will end. It will take much effort but you can get there. My best wishes.

Peter

Written by surfer, 29. Jun 2007 05:19 AM

Hi Joanne, i know just how you feel been there myself i believe that the fact you wrote this entry is a sighn that you do want help ,so just hang in there you will see the light just keeping believing in your heart and it will happen i promise.I also thought that life wasn't worth living but now i thank God for another day . please take care and get the help you deserve.Regards bellisma xox

Written by Deleted_User, 29. Jun 2007 10:59 AM

It does get better Jo, maybe the help you're getting isn't the right help? Maybe you chose to live then because you value life and you value a future, one that you will enjoy one day...
Get the right help Jo..
Tank

Written by tank, 29. Jun 2007 03:06 PM

Jo

You can do this kid. You can break free of this darkness and come out a survivor.

Go Jo!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 29. Jun 2007 03:46 PM

Hey Jo,

You just get right back up on your horse, please don't let this get you down any further then you have already been your fight isn't over beautiful but it will be worth it when it is believe me, just know you can call anytime (((Jo))) I'm always here for you anytime.
You have had so many up's and down's its about time things got better for you sending you lots of love.
Please never stop fighting.

Love Lots
Donna
xoxoxox

Written by super_sad, 29. Jun 2007 07:40 PM

Hi Honey,
Where is that bright young lady that I chat to from time to time on msn? You are a wonderful friend to Stace & Tash, and such an understanding person to everyone else on DepNet.
Please see if you can find someone 'as Tank mentioned' to help you, there must be some reason you go from happy to sad continually. Maybe a different med Jo...
Please take care as you are very special to all of us.
Love, hugs & support,
Valerie x0x

Written by Deleted_User, 29. Jun 2007 11:15 PM

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