.It was no accident,but a theraputic chain of events..
A page in the diary ".a pLc 4 miE haed..."
Written by JoanneC84 6. Jun 2007 03:39 AM
I don't know what I want to write.I have sat here for 2hrs staring at a blank screen,knowing that I want to write something but not quite sure what..
I have much going through my head that I wouldn't know where to begin.I have been walking on very thin ice,my head just won't stop.I seriously thought that it was going to explode last night and all day today..
I fell apart last night,thanks to Stacey for keeping me above water and for sitting there and helping me through it.. I really hate that I feel like this,I hate that the darkness has taken over.I hate that I don't have control of my impulses.
I'm just really struggling through this whole thing,wondering if I really am strong enough..I gave into temptation to self harm,not once but three times..(moderators-pls dont leave the 'its not a crisis site and get outside help'-cos i am and this is what its doing to me..)
I just don't know what to do anymore..I am just very lucky to have Stace to help me through this,as well as you deppies..Can't wait to see you on the wkend and give you a big hug...
I just feel like my head is gunna explode and I can't stop it from happening.. Just so heavy and terrible...I hate it..
Just want it to stop..
Jo xox