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Run for cover-For I fear I may explode!!

A page in the diary ".a pLc 4 miE haed..."
Written by JoanneC84 5. Aug 2008 11:46 PM

Are we ever really free from all this?

Do we ever really break our old habits?Or are they just hibernating and waiting for a moment of weakness?

Am I really strong enough not to give in??

Right about now,I don't know what to believe..I know what I want to do but I also know I shouldn't..

I feel like I'm slowing sinking,going below the surface-no matter how fast I tread water,I just keep going down...

My head is exhausted from running a constant marathon-its sick of fighting itself-I'm sick of fighting myself also...

'Crawling in my skin,these wounds they will not heal..'

Jo x

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Comments from the community:

Jo i don,t think that we are ever really free from all of these things you mention.
But we have better days i call them Diamond days, and i live for them .
Everyday we go on is another day we keep the old Black Dog on his leash.
And i know with a friend like Bella ,you will have lot's of support .She's one great Lady i adore her.
Be strong Jo and take care.
Regards Demons, Sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite
and if they do use dynamite lol

Written by Demons48, 5. Aug 2008 11:59 PM


Dea Jo

I don't know that we can ever be really free of all of this. That is the nature of the beast. But we can be free of most of it - free enough to get happiness and fulfillment, perhaps not all of the time, but enough. I'm sorry it's such hard going for you now. Best wishes.

Peter

Written by surfer, 6. Aug 2008 01:20 AM

Some of us may never be free of dep but we can grow used to thinking and behaving in new ways. I am sorry you are having a hard time of it.

Written by TerryN, 6. Aug 2008 01:22 PM

Jo
I am under cover so I am protected. You are the perfect example of breaking old habits. 13 months is a wonderful length of time that took a huge amount of strength and will power to overcome your demons.
You are strong enough not to give in - you are a stubborn little biatch lol and with the help, love and support of your family on here, we will help you any way we can.
You have done so much in the last 12 months, have gone from strength to strength and you are determined not to give up - you keep going no matter what little obstacles jump out in your way.
Don't set yourself a time frame - you will accomplish anything you put your mind to but you will have to take time and don't push yourself - baby steps/hops.
Be strong my wonderful caring BJ - we all love you and support you - and as I have said, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes and when we do, it is ok
Love you to the moon and back always
Mumma Bear (The Boss)

Written by chookie67, 6. Aug 2008 08:10 PM