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Today is the day..I never thought I'd get to this point

A page in the diary ".a pLc 4 miE haed..."
Written by JoanneC84 6. Jul 2008 01:36 PM

This time last year, I would never have imagined that I would make it to this stage in my 'recovery'...

Today is 12 months (yes thats 365 days,52 weeks) since I last self harmed..

For those who have read my entries or who have been here on depnet as long as I have (just over 2yrs) it is a major achievement for me..

In all honesty, I didn't think I would make it and I don't think I would have if not for the support and friendships I have had through depnet.

The last year has been a struggle in many ways...I went back to uni last year before I was ready and crashed big time..But I think I might be ready this time...Should I not cope within the first 3 weeks I will pull out before census date so that way its not recorded as yet another fail...I have struggled with my weight,my feelings,my health, my anxiety and so much more..

But despite the days when I find it hard to drag myself out of bed,I feel like a different person...And I owe that to being able to fight the urges..It has been hard,there have been days when I have been more than willing to give in but I have somehow managed to fight it....

I know I have done alot of this on my own,I have had to learn to give myself credit where it is a due(another big step for me) but I couldn't have done this without the love,support,encourgement and friendship of many of you here,you know who you are...Most especially my wonderful Mumma bear (chookie67) and the amazing Belladonna...You are both Angels who I am so grateful to have in my life..You have been there when I want to give in,to kick my butt when I need it (and thats alot lol) and to love me when I forget to love myself...I owe my life to you both...and love you with all my heart..

I know that this isn't over yet-I'm far from being 'cured' and I accept that I can fall in heap at any given time but I'm willing to accept my faults and should I give in,I know I can make it...I have the greatest friends in th world,I'm no longer alone in this...

Thank you ...

Jo xo

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Comments from the community:

My Sweet BJ,
You know how to make me cry don't you.
Congratulations and Very Very Proud of You
You are such a stronger person since I met you. You have struggled through the many obstacles that you have had to deal with, at times really really struggling, but one thing you always do is ask for help = sometimes it is hard to get it out of you - but you do ask. And no matter how hard life is for you - you care so much about others - and always worry about me.
You are such a huge part in my family and have a place in my heart forever.
People have to accept you for who you are. Don't let them try and change you - you are just fine how your are - your riding skills need polishing up but lol. There is nothing wrong with you and if they want you to change, then they are the one with the problem and they will have Mumma Bear to deal with.

You have come such a long way in regards to your self esteem and I am really honoured and very very proud to have been a part of that.

Love you forever and a day. You are a wonderful caring loving lady and a beautiful caring daugther
xoxoxoxoxoxo
MB and Pop

Written by chookie67, 6. Jul 2008 02:10 PM

Jo

That is a great achievement - 1 year of not self harming. You should be very proud of this milestone. I wish I could be as strong as you.

You know what to do about uni and also register with student services so if you stay past the census date and have to withdraw, they can help you/they can also help you with assessment - get you appropriate assistance/different assessment if you can with the course you are doing.

Glad you have two great people helping/supporting you - chook and bella. I think you have come a long way in the last 12 months and that is also thanks to chook and bella. Keep them around to help you through things.

Go Jo!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. Jul 2008 03:29 PM

Proud of you Jo.

Written by maple, 6. Jul 2008 05:00 PM

Well done. Be very proud of yourself.

Take care
Matt xx

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Jul 2008 05:08 PM

Congratulation sweetheart. That is such a huge effort. Very proud of you.

Love, care and support always
Amanda xxxxx

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Jul 2008 05:10 PM

An amazing achievement, pleae celebrate in whatever way you feel best.

Love and support

Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 6. Jul 2008 05:17 PM

Your an amazing person Jo, so proud of you, i have always believed in you.
Take care Jo (((((((((((((Jo))))))))))))

B1

Written by bananas, 6. Jul 2008 06:21 PM

Hey hun,

I am so proud of you. You have done very well. And you will continue to do well. I have faith in you.

Take care love

WD

Written by WhiteDove, 6. Jul 2008 09:47 PM

Jo, well done - you have reached a milestone.
Be proud of how far you've come.
I have read your previous entries, and I agree it is a MAJOR achievement. I read about your visit to Chookie in North Qld and it seems that Lynne and the visit were a big part of your recovery. I hope you and Chookie continue your friendship for a long, long time.
Keep up the positiveness, Jo!
You are a winner!

MAYA

Written by Maya, 7. Jul 2008 02:19 AM

Hello Darl,
Big Hugs & Congratulations...you have come a long way.
Seeing that I am a 'Morning Owl' as you can see...must be 'Old Age hey?' today is over 1 year now...I am so proud of you.
Have a lovely week, I should try to get some sleep myself.
Lots Of Love & Support Always Jo.
Nanna Val x0x

Written by NannaVal, 7. Jul 2008 04:47 AM

Hi Jo Darl,

You have come a long way since a year ago for sure...
I remember reading your diaries and this one is such a Big Achievement Jo...

"Congratulations"

You deserve the best life...and I know things will get even more better and Positive for you, coz your a fighter, a winner Jo.

sending you lotsa hugs and support

Haveagoodweek Jo

Written by Lori, 7. Jul 2008 01:43 PM

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