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Wish I had a cord I could plug into the wall & RECHARGE

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Written by bluewave 28. May 2008 04:54 PM

Hi all,

Thanks for your commments to my last post, I needed a winge :) feeling a bit better. Why did got make womens bodies so comlpicated! I blame Eve and resent Adam.

Mentally I am unsure of how I am doing. I am trying my best and I know I am doing ok. But recently my anxiety has really risen and its a nuisance. I think it's to do with my body image issues. I am making myself feel overwhelmed about my weight I have gained and in effect it paralyses me from actually doing anything about it, then I hate myself for this.

One viscious cycle that I am very aware of. I am trying to re-train my brain. My thoughts need to change before my actions.

I am not happy with my sisters recently...I love them so much but their understanding and care have gone out the window. I rarely open up to my sisters and the last couple of times I opened up to my sister a week ago. I got no response, she told me off for messaging her late and said she is too busy to reply to any of my text messages. When I tried to ring and then text my other sister during my panic attack just told me 'You are fine, see you tomorrow!'

...it just hurts. My family always get quite personally angry with me because 'I am secretive' and when I finally open up, vunerable, they tell me...

'you are fine' OR 'go have a cup of tea and you will be fine' OR 'awwwww (Pause) anyway blah blah blah' OR 'You cause problems for yourself, you don't have any problems, everyone gets depressed but we just get on with it'

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sorry guys I'm just being immature I'm 20yrs old and I keep telling my family I'm adult, so realistically I should be able to do this on my own.

I'm not a baby anymore and I know they get frustrated when I complain so I should learn to just talk to my psychologist and get on with life.

I DO NOT LIKE MYSELF AT THIS POINT IN TIME

Bluewave
xxoo

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Comments from the community:

Hi Blue

I know only too well how much anxiety can wreak havoc in your life. It never seems to end and other people can't possibly understand what you are going thru.

It took me a good 2 years to be pretty much panic free. The meds have helped a great deal as has not pushing myself when I'm tired or sick. Don't worry about your weight - it will come off again once you stabilise - i am a big lady too and our weight is a form of protection for us. You are fine the way you are - keep beleiving that you will get thru this test and nothing will bug you out anymore!

Wishing you well
Dolly xx

Written by Deleted_User, 28. May 2008 06:27 PM

Blue

You are entitled to have your family support you and not tell you such stupid patronising things like have a cuppa of tea and you will be ok. They don't understand you illness and need to be shown about it. Take them with you to your psychiatrist. My sister went to see mine for her benefit and she has a much better understanding now which helps me when she and I email.

20 is no excuse for what you are going through. I have had that from Queen Bee from when I was in hospital for my first event in 1996 and I was 22 and she was saying pull yourself together and she is still saying that. She doesn't understand mental illness and won't go and see my psychiatrist to try and understand it.

Try and get your sisters to go with you and hopefully they will get a good understanding of what you are going through - they can go with you or make an appointment about your care.

Go Blue!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 28. May 2008 06:44 PM

Men-opause
Men-orrhagia
Men-orrhoea
Men-struation
Men-strual
His-terectomy
His-tericia
Man-icure

Ever notice how all womens problems begin with men??????

Written by Gyps, 28. May 2008 07:33 PM

I can sympathise with the problems you have with your sisters. Mine are always complaining that I never open up to them about what I feel, or what has affected me, they have a habit of pushing the issue when they know it makes me feel uncomfortable, and they keep oing untill I finally spill something to shut them up and then I usually get the response "that happened so many years ago, we went through it too and we got over it" or another one "that wasn't that bad they were just mean girls don't let it affect you" that one's in regards to an assault I suffered when I was 17, by some so called 'friends'...

Sorry I've blabbed a bit, I guess I just wanted to say, that I can sympathise, family can be such a pain sometimes, especially when they can't can't seem to understand what your going through.

Hope things get better for you soon.

Take Care

Written by wild_rose, 28. May 2008 09:44 PM

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