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Drought In My Eyes

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Written by bluewave 21. May 2008 06:18 PM

Hi all,

I'm feeling a little better since my last post...welll to be honest I'm sure..I feel like my body needs to be cleansed.

It's just that I haven't really had time cry about some personal issues. Everytime my psychologist hits a sore spot doing the session I suck it up, tell my self to hold it together.

but I regret this now, I feel this hurting in my heart but it's like it's stuck.

I want to cry and get it all out but the tears don't come, I been watching soppy movies just so I can cry about something. But I feel stuck if you know what I mean.

I just wish I wasn't embarrassed about crying, it's been years since I've cried infront of my parents and in my dreams I imagine crying and having them hold me and tell me it's goign to be ok.

I just want someone to hold me while I cry myself to sleep, that would be the absolute best feeling in world.

I guess I'll be hanging around in limbo till then.

Bluewave
xxoo

PS: Ruminating thoughts starting to come back. I feel anxiety haunting me at night but I think I can cope, I've defeated anxiety before so now I feel it creeping back I hope I will be able to control it.

PSS: Luv ya all

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Comments from the community:

I too find crying the hardest thing. I have been seeing my psych for nearly 18 months now and have never cried, and given what I have told her and what I have nt and felt I hoped I would have.

She tells me that it will come, for now I practice as she has instructed :" What is it you are doing to not cry?"

So basically when I feel I am about to cry I take deep breaths I straighten up and sort of shake myself out of it, hold my breath a bit.

It is reasonable advice she given :" What is it you are doing to not cry?"

Hope it helps

Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 21. May 2008 07:07 PM

Hi bluewave,

I too can't cry, even after 12 months with psychologist - she's had me on the brink a couple of times, but I always suck it up and hold it together too.

Maybe next time your psychologist hits a sore point try not to react the way you usually do and just go with the emotion.

Good luck,

Karen xxx

Written by fly, 21. May 2008 07:18 PM

Blue

Sometimes the hit spots are meant to be a test of our coping ability. You obviously are coping if you aren't crying at a session with her. I wish I could cry with both my psychiatrist and psychologist but I haven't been able to do it for ages.

Go Blue!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 21. May 2008 08:34 PM

I hate crying in front of people so much, even my psychologist/psychiatrist. I force myself to 'suck it up' as well, and its pretty obvious, but I'd rather they knew I was forcing myself not to cry rather than see me cry. I think its a pride thing for me - I always have to be strong. But I know the pain you describe and it really sucks. However crying doesn't make it go away. I have periods where the pain becomes unstuck and I cry and cry and cry, but the crying physical and emotionally hurts, and I feel like the tears will never stop. I do hope that you are able to cry, because it is in those moments where the tears flow where you are not running from your past, where you are able to acknowledge that it has happened. Maybe not accept it, definitely not like it, but at least stop running from it for a little while.

xo

Written by babz, 21. May 2008 08:34 PM

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