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Blue

Don't be so hard on yourself because you have gone back to harming. I am sure you will find tomorrow is a better day and I hope you can stop or reduce the harming tomorrow.

Go Blue!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 18. May 2008 07:44 PM

Umm...as a Nurse..I will tell anyone never ever walk toward the light.
Bluewave you haven't let anyone down, you are on a lower level than you have been recently , you must remember this is the nature of depression and it will pass. I know because I have been suicidal for a week but now it is gone. It is the nature of the thing, but the more you can stick to better behaviours, the quicker it will pass because you won't have put yourself right back in the hole. Feel like crap but behave as well as you can...don't have to be perfect just don't lose it totally..especially with you, control alcohol.
All the best.

Written by maple, 18. May 2008 09:32 PM

Hi bluewave,

Don't feel you are letting us down by slipping backwards... we all know that sometimes its 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Sometimes its 1 step forward and 2 back. That's the nature of depression, it comes with it's highs and lows.

I was on cloud 9 a couple of weeks ago, but am now feeling as depressed as ever, but I will not resort back to self harming, it only ever makes me feel worse the next day.

I'm sorry you don't have the support of your family when you feel yourself sliding, and that you have to pretend that things are better than they are for you. That's hard. But you definitely have the support of your fellow deppies here and we welcome you and what ever mood you are in. That's what we're here for.... support, both to fellow deppies and from them in return.

Take care of yourself,

Luv Karen xxx

Written by fly, 18. May 2008 10:19 PM

Hey Blue,

Please, please don't feel you are letting us down, you are not, by a long shot.

I wish i could be with you to hold your hand while you go through this and help you all i could.

Please understand that we have all been where you are now, or close to it, and we do understand.

Stay strong Blue, please

Luv Nouse

Written by Nouse, 19. May 2008 02:08 AM

Hi Bluewave,
I wish I could give you a big hug - I feel the pain in your writing. I often struggle with a similar thing, feeling that I was finally 'better' or 'normal' and then slipping back down again. It is in those times that I have to remind myself that recovery isn't a straight line, there are highs and lows, there are bumps in the road, but none of that means that you are further from recovery. It is through these low times that you further grow as a person and learn more about yourself as well as skills to help you maintain your state of wellness when you finally reach it.

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of hun, you didn't ask for this and it is certainly not your fault, so don't for one minute believe that you did or that it is.

The beauty (or perhaps tragedy??) of a site like this is that we all cycle, but we cycle at different times, so that eventually those that were giving the advice are the ones that need to receive it and vice versa. Just because you are in need of a little TLC at the moment is no reason to be ashamed.

You have not failed blue, your are just walking the road of recovery.

Be kind to yourself, and know that I'm sending you lots of love, hugs and support.
xoxo

"We are all on a spiral path. No growth takes place in a straight line. There will be setbacks along the way... There will be shadows, but they will be balanced by patches of light and fountains of joy as we grow and progress. Awareness of the pattern is all you need to sustain you along the way..."
- K Zambuca

Written by babz, 19. May 2008 07:37 AM

Hey Rachael,

You haven't let anybody down, in fact, I'm proud of you.

This old cliche comes to mind, "The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem / need help "

That is what your post tells me.
Your not happy,negative thoughts,etc.... but it also shows that you recognize the feelings and don't want to go there again, and are reaching out for support.

That is an achievement,Rach,it may not feel like it now,but when these feelings pass you will be happy within yourself that you saw this coming, and it hasn't affected you as much .

All of the comments above show how we are all together, supporting each other -- thru the ups and downs, babz's has struck a major chord with me , and had reminded me of just that,something I seemed to have forgotten until just now.

People who don't understand us don't recognize what they can't see, so don't be too upset with family or friends for not seeing the positive's, maybe you could remind them of this.

I think your ok, and I'm very proud of you for raising your doubts early so that you can get the support you need. I believe your post is inspirational in that you have sought help as soon as you have had doubts, this shows that you are 'walking that road to recovery'.

Sleep with angels,
Bryzy xox

Written by Bryan, 19. May 2008 01:35 PM

You have not let anyone down, need to stop that thinking as we are here to support whereever you are, the beauty of this site.

Its all a journey blue sometimes there are valleys and sometimes there are peaks but al the while you are travelliing.

Stay on your journey and you will pick up along the way, people will have their arms out to help and guide and soon when you get some stregnth back you can carry on.

You are an amazing person, please look after yourself


Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 19. May 2008 03:46 PM