LEAVING my job
A page in the diary ""
Written by bluewave 19. Feb 2008 04:35 AM
Hello all,
I am still on my work break and I have come to terms with a lot of things. One is being that the way I feel and am treated at work is not right and I can stop it by leaving.
I will try to see if my boss is free tomorrow and I will catch up with him to casually discuss what I want.
I took the break because I needed a mental break from work but...also from the intense sadness and negativity form my EX intimate relatioship with my boss. I have not told you guys but there was a time when we were intimate and travelling on a business trip...lets just say he had too much too drink, was angry, verbally abused me and there was a point when I actually believed his threats to murder were real...ever since then our relationship and MAINLy my mental health has suffered
It's so hard and it hurts so very much. It's confusing but I MUST LET GO>
I need to leave the negative chauvanistic stock broking environment...I feel like a failure and guilty that I will be letting the boys down at work but I can't cope working in that place
I am so freaking scared about what my Boss will say...react?! I plan to see him in the morning so that he is not drunk...I feel so anxious, this feels like the biggest thing I will have done. He has controlled me through working for him for such a long time.
I have been scared to leave him personally and leave work because of the fear of his react or consequences he could, would place on me...but I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want him anymore. I want to move on, please God help me through this,
bluewave
xxoo