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Borderline Personality Disorder

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Written by bluewave 8. Jan 2008 05:57 PM

I Have been having such a cocktail of emotions. Though I am better I feel discouraged by the fact I have so much further to go.

Because I have BPD my moods are always fluctuating, sometimes within hours moments I am crying and then laughing. One moment contemplating suicide and then the next shocked and god smacked that I was even considering it an option.

This roller coaster is not only fustrating for myself but others, especially friends who just don't know how to deal with my sudden mood swings.

When I tell my people I have BDP they automatically think I have schizophrenia and hear voices and have split personality. I know it's not their fault but it makes me so fustrated!!!

It's like my disorder is unknown, is not real, as if it doesn't exist!! I wish the awareness of my illness was more understood.

I have been up and down again..there are things I need to report about the last few months but will save them for a little while. Still I feel this pain this feeling of being UNHEARD, unacknowledged by friends and lovers.

Why are they so araid of it?? it's not a disease. Maybe if they knew more about my condition they wouldn't be so freaked out about it. The stigma is immense and it really hurts

bluewave

xxoo

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Comments from the community:

Bluewave

I think it is a matter of not knowing what BDP is and how it affects people who have it. I know for one I don't know anything about it eventhough deppies write they have it.

Go Bluewave!!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 8. Jan 2008 10:02 PM

hi bluewave
i know what your going through. I have Borderline personality & bipolar disorder. Both very similar disorders. The drs n counselors ive seen in the past, not always willingly, couldnt decide which fitted best so diagnosed both & put me on an anti depressant & a mood stabiliser. Funny u should say like the condition doesnt exist, some drs ive seen have said to me that it doesnt exist its just a label given when they dont really know what is going on. Like a gp saying u have a bug or a virus.
Theres supposed to be a treatment for the condition im not sure if you know, its called DBT Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. It might pay u to look into it if your interested. YOur local community health centre should have a mental health section they should be able to help u if u want it.
Nobody ever understands me either so i know what thats like. Every relationship i form of any kind always falls apart because of the way i am, so i stick to myself pretty much.

Written by hellhole, 8. Jan 2008 10:45 PM

I was diagnosed with BPD also, and i don't tell people cause their thoughts on what it is are just so warped, so i've given up.
The stigma in society has stuck with mental illness, and there needs to be alot more awareness. For one they could start teaching it in schools instead of half the shit they teach there, and maybe we can get society to start understanding. I feel your pain, take care and stay strong.
love em

Written by esp, 8. Jan 2008 11:00 PM

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