He says he loves me & I say goodbye!
A page in the diary ""
Written by bluewave 22. Aug 2007 07:24 PM
Hello fellow depnet buddies!
I am feeling better and stronger. I have completed ended sexual relationship with boss/lover/married man. He is nolonger my boyfriend and I am no longer the 'other woman' I feel so good like the world is no longer esting on my shoulders.
He didn't believe me that I wanted to end it but he now knows that I can not be with him, not after the way he treated me. He is still my boss and we are still friendly and on good terms. Things are so much easier now.
I actually have a new guy in my life, I just met him and he is the sweetest man I've ever been with...it's weird though I feel like running away. We aren't in a full on relationship just dating at the moment. He is so nice and I keep torturing myself, my mind won't stop questioning and worrying, I feel this sudden fear in me. He is just so normal and treats me like a lady, this is obviousy a great thing but I feel so scared I don't know why.
I don't understand why he likes me!? He is good looking and talented and so confident I feel like I'm not up to standard and if I am I'm scared he will eventually see my depressed side and when that happens he'll know the real me and will probably won't want anything to do
with me.
I hate this! Whenever I have a good footing with a guy who is actually worth my time I freak out and push them away. I don't know how to describe it, it's like subconsciously I want a man to treat me like crap because it would be easier
What is this? Why am I feeling like this
Blue wave