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Written by bluewave 18. Feb 2007 03:12 PM

I have been taking all my medication properly, I have caught up on a lot of sleep too. Thanks Tank and Oz for your comments. I saw my psychiatrist and he is happy with me. Hoever I did not tell him about the drinking. I find it hard to tell him everything. I see my psychologist every week though, I tell her EVERTHING. It's great.

I'm feeling a lot better but my eating has gotten out of control. My obsession with my weight is coming back. I have put on a lot of weight since depressed last year. I am binging a lot right now, I can't stop eating I'm eating and eating till I feel sick

The good thing though is that I have not purged. I haven't vomitted for ages and refuse to let myself do tat again. But I am worrying about the self harm. When I obsess about my weight I always get strong urges to cut. I haven't cut for a long time either so I feel kinda strong about resisting it.

I don't know, I just need to lose 10kg, get back to the weight I was before then I would be ok. I know I would feel heaps better. But the more I think about losing weight the more I stuff my face with food!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh! it's ok, tomorrow I'll start the mission to lose the 10kg I have to lose it!!!!

bluewave
xxoo

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Comments from the community:

Dear Bluewave

Thankyou for your kind comment on my diary post.

I'm going to try and help you - give you a kickstart and then you need to use your CBT skills to follow on with it.

First of all I've gotta ask you a few questions. I want you to really think about them. I'll check this diary entry tomorrow evening some time and if you've written the answer/s then that's good - and if you haven't then that's OK and I'll write what I think the answer/s is/are.

Then after that I'll try to show you how to move forward.

Here are the questions!! (no cheating!)

Why have you bothered to take your meds properly?
Why is it good that you've caught up on sleep?
Why do you bother going to see a psychologist & a psychiatrist?
Why do you feel a bit guilty about your drinking?
Why does it matter if you've put on weight?
Why do you feel bad about your bingeing?
Why are you happy/proud that you haven't purged?
Why do you refuse to let yourself purge again?
Why do you care if you cut or not?
Why do you need to lose 10kg?
Why do you care whether you feel better or worse - why does it matter?

Lots of love Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Deleted_User, 18. Feb 2007 11:09 PM

Dear Bluewave

The answer to all these questions is that deep deep down in your heart (your real truth) you are important to you. You value yourself.

Because you value yourself, you NEED to do these things to get what you want in life, because your valuable self deserves and NEEDS what you want in life.

Lots of love

Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Deleted_User, 20. Feb 2007 05:03 AM

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