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I know how you feel, throughout my teenage years I had always been told how fat I was and this made me feel unattractive, especially when I have a bad habit of eating heaps.

I can't think of any advice as I still have these problems but just thought I'd let you know that you're not the only one.

Take care.

Written by a-Leng, 20. Oct 2006 09:24 PM

Hi there,

Just wanted to say I can kind of empathise with what you are feeling. Despite people telling me the opposite, I am plagued by the feeling that I am fat and ugly, and that just contributes to my huge sense of worthlessness on the whole. It can really hold you back... you feel that in certain situations people aren't really listening to you but are rather focusing on how horrible it is to have to look at you. I know these thoughts are compounded for girls of certain cultural backgrounds where a lot of emphasis is on a woman's outward appearance (I myself am half-Asian).

I would love to offer you some kind of remedy for these feelings but unfortunately I am yet to find one myself. Nonetheless, try to stay up as you are doing, and focus on the positive.

Regards,
miss m

Written by miss_m, 20. Oct 2006 09:51 PM

Some people just do feel free to comment on other's appearance, particularly adults toward children. We all seek and need other people's approval too, so you could stop critisising yourself bluewave for what is a natural human trait. I myself feel too ugly to look people in the face sometimes, but it's a feeling, not a reality. I tell myself that's a superiority compex, not inferiority, cause I believe everyone is looking at me critically, when they are really not concerned. I try to dress really well when I'm feeling low, as a management strategy, whereas when I'm not low I couldn't give a rat's what I wear. Also, it is difficult having a sibling in a beauty pageant, anyone would wrestle with that, so do that but don't let it consume you, this is only this moment in time after all.
Regards.

Written by Deleted_User, 21. Oct 2006 09:36 AM

Hi Bluewave,
Everyone has some aspect of themselves they don't like.
I myself have issues with some things - i wont go on coz i'll seem like a two-headed ogre ! Media and magazines have given the perception that ppl should aspire to look like models, some ppl may, but for the rest of us,they create a false idea of beauty.
I myself was labelled as 'chunky' a label that was used time and time again for years.I know the hurt.
As i got older ,and worked ,i found interests and activities that involved getting into the fresh air enjoying myself and learning to be comfortabe with who i am.
With respect,young ppl today have got it tough. Peer pressures,identity crisis,expectation to perform are just unfair demands that rob ppl of the opportunity to grow and evolve in their own time.

I know its easier said than done,but please have a little patience.You are still young and have so much ahead of you.You have already showm to me the beauty in your heart and the kindness in your soul.These are natural qualites that will guide you through life,creating a loving,caring person that will be loved,respected and honoured by every person that will be graced with you entering their lives.
Your natural qualities will be envied by some,as they know they will never aspire to your beauty.
Appearance in the physical sense is important to some,but think of the pressures they must have to keep up that appearance??? That to me presents the idea that their life is a fake,being controlled by a belief that looks control their destiny,a sad way to see a future.
It took me a long time to come to terms with who i am ,and that how i am is how i'm going to be.
If you search to find beauty -start from within. Its what you express in your words of comfort to others,the way you show kindness to others displays your confidence,the help you give your friends,family and anyone that enters your life will see you for who you are,a beautiful,kind,loving,caring,sensitive soul that is going to become everything you have ever wished for -and more. Its just not gonna happen overnight,it comes with time,patience is a difficult hurdle to overcome,but it also comes in time.
Don't ever forget-even for a day,how very speial you are

Sleep with angels,

Bryan

Written by Deleted_User, 21. Oct 2006 03:41 PM

The people that are closest to us hurt us the most. Friends you can choose, relatives your stuck with.
Don't take what they say too seriously. Get dressed up abit & go out for a coffee. You'll find that people treat you better, they really do. They judge you by your appearance, a human trait like stanford said, use it for your benefit & it will make you feel good.
Take care,
Geo

Written by Anonymous, 21. Oct 2006 05:18 PM