Read diary

Comments from the community:

Hi Bluewave
There are so many possibilities here that a good talk with your Psych is in order so you can sort this out for yourself. Try not to make too much of it until you get that opportunity, so much of women's sexuality is in their head.
Some possibilities and if any offend then I apologise upfront.
Maybe you are not attracted to this person.
Maybe this person's style isn't doing it for you and frinedship is the go. I wouldn't come to that decision easily though if you do want a closer relationship with this person.
When we change our lives as you have then every experience we approach is different than it was previously and so can create anxiety of it's own because we are operating differently.
Your previous pattern of behaviour was very different, I know you don't want that back but you will need to work on this just as you have everything else.
In short, it is hard to be turned on with a completely different emotional environment than that which we had before even if the previous one was destructive.
And hey, women are notoriously attracted to bad boys,if you have a good one it is hard to cross that boundary sometimes, but it can be done.
These are just things for you to consider but a good talk with your Psych is the go. This is a normal everyday problem not a depression problem or just your problem, try not to make it bigger than what it is..work it out for yourself.
Good Luck.

Written by perpetual, 29. Sep 2008 10:12 AM

Not being ready to have sex with someone and not being ready for a relationship are two very different situations. Given that you're so scared of being hurt, it isn't really that surprising that you froze up. A month being with someone isn't exactly forever, maybe you just need time to build up the trust you need to make the leap believing that he won't hurt you. Perhaps talking to him about your dep, maybe not in any detail at first, will help you to feel that he is trust worthy. Don't give up on him just yet.

Written by babz, 29. Sep 2008 03:54 PM

Bluewave

You need to think some more about why you froze up. Babz is right about having sex with someone and being ready for a relationship - you have to work this out - is it the sex you are craving or is it the fact you are craving a strong relationship with someone who will understand your depression.

Talk to you psych about how best to approach this delemma and then again as Babz suggested have a chat with the person about your depression - not deep but just enough that they understand what you are going through/been through. Then see where things take you - friends or relationship. Don't push things as it may take you fellow a little while to fully understand what you have spoken to him about - that is why you make it light and easy and not in depth that it would scare him off.

Go Bluewave!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 29. Sep 2008 05:57 PM