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You don't need a man to make you feel sexy, beautiful and loved. Someone told me once that the best way to make someone fall in love with you is to first love yourself...

Written by babz, 17. Jul 2008 12:34 AM

I hear you bluewave. Going to make a couple of rational general points though I know this is an emotive issue.
You must be more beautiful and sexy because you are taking better care of yourself.
The lack of males is probably due to lifestyle change, you are not so vulnerable nor using alcohol and I applaud you for the changes you have made.
Previously your self esteem seemed completely tied up with male attention, it's not easy breaking out of that cycle but it nearly destroyed you, it isn't ok for your wellbeing to mean so little. Go and get pissed somewhere, soon enough you will have a truckload of men after you, it is that easy. I know this because I am female. Also sex makes us feel loved but it doesn't mean we are loved. You need to know for yourself which of those you are really after.
You've done heaps of work, keep going, a guy will come along soon enough, or you actively choose one, it is actually you who has the power here not them.
What do people do to manage healthily when their sex life is a bit slow? Retail therapy, self beautification, exercise, creative pursuits, masturbation, actively pursue suitable others..in fact anything to avoid participating in unhealthy sexual activity...
I do understand how you feel, but treating this how you have been treating your other stuff is the way to go.
Mindfully. Men do have the power to make us feel beautiful etcetera but they also have the reverse power and you really don't need any more of that treatment.
Not advocating celibacy...just commonsense. Make a set of rules for yourself regarding sexual behaviour, it might be...sober, protected, with someone who you know is not a jerk. Someone who looks after themself perhaps..like you do. Also, do some thinking or talking with your Psychologist, learn to seperate sex and love as they are 2 different things. You need to know what you are really missing emotionally so that you can go about correcting it healthily. Don't let your sex life be an ongoing accident, take control. I can say this because I am older than you....

Written by maple, 17. Jul 2008 10:52 AM

I just want to say thank you so much for your comments especially Maple, your words really shook me back into reality.

Thabnk you all so much for your support you don't know how much it has helped I am feeling heaps better today. I know what I want now and that it to love myself first!

:)

Bluewave

Written by bluewave, 17. Jul 2008 03:08 PM