Sick and confused
A page in the diary ""
Written by bluewave 15. Jul 2008 03:27 AM
I don't feel good, I know this sounds weird but i'm not even sure if it's physical or mental or both. I got my wisdom teeth out recently and it's really killing me I hope it's not infected because I continued smoking even when I wasn't suppose to...ooops! I know naughty of me but just needed, I mean I wanted a fag.
Anyway that aside just feel sick, like I feel like vomitting except it's the same sort of feeling I get when I'm anxiuos. I just feel weird.
I'm sorry I don't normally complain about stuff like this but it's really getting me down because normally I know exactly what the triggers are or reason and I am normally very self aware in that way.
Right now I honestly don't know, I have always believed my depression was due to circumstance and not really biology but this is first time in a long time I feel like I'm really fighting against something I can not control.
To be honest really just feel like crying right now, just need some sort of release I don't understand why I am feeling like this. I have no reason to feel this way except for my past which I have moved on from and which I thought I had recovered from.
Also I guess having bad sleep patterns don't help as I have been having crazy dreams and bad sleep for past 2 weeks...Sorry again I really feel like I'm complaining about nothing but don't know how to make myself feel better this time... :(
Bluewave