'Chin up babe'
A page in the diary ""
Written by bluewave 25. Jun 2008 06:46 PM
Hey all,
I am still doing well, today hasn't been great but I am coping. I have still been getting intrusive thoughts during the day about past issues and they ruminate in my mind but I keep trying to stop myself and I keep saying to myself...
"Head up high babe, you have made progress now don't let stupid irrational and non helpful thoughts bring you down. Let go of the hurt, let go."
I have to continuously remind myself this and to keep track of my mood often as soon as it slips I find a distraction, or read my affirmations.
I have enrolled myself into weight watchers and went for my first meeting this monday, it was great. I realize I just need to eat wisely and I'm pretty much eating the same sort of stuff but smaller portions. The weight I gained does bring me down so I am doing my best to lose it, I'm doing salsa dancing and trying to move more.
It's weird, I used to want to be skinny I looked at those stick sickly thin girls and aspired to be like that one day but now I just want to be healthy. All I truely desire now is to be in a healthy BMI range as oppose to overweight. I want to exercise and be healthy NOT skinny.
Realising that I just need to lose weight for my own health and happiness has diminished all the pressure I used to put on myself. I am even starting to accept the way I look now.
Looking at life more realistically makes me understand that my initial goals were not achievable nor healthy. I will try to attempt giving up smoking again when I am ready.
Life is good at the moment and I am proud in myself for making reasonable and constructive improvements. Also I have been spending heaps of time with my real friends and I forgot how many friends I do have and it has also reminded me that everyone of my friends love me for who I am, they just want to have fun with me they don't care how I look or dress.
I am on a mission to improve the things I don't like about myself and to accept the rest :)
Bluewave
xxoo