GREAT NEWS bout friend - Also I am smiling today
A page in the diary ""
Written by bluewave 8. Jun 2008 04:03 AM
Hi all! :)
Absolutely great news to tell you in continuation of 'police' entries.
My girlfriend told her mum with her psych there about the abuse from her dad. I can't believe it her mum actually came to the plate this time, she confronted her husband and threw him out the house that very day. She believe my friend and was extremely supportive during the meeting. I was so worried about what could happen and knew if her mum stayed in denial my friend would just crumble...
But everything happen to plan. She is finally safe! When I spoke to her on the phone today she was so different. She was actually talking to me as oppose to her very quite voice giving me one answer responses. It's like she is alive again, I can not believe how brave she has been, it's been such a long time since the abuse has been going on and finally I see her as a stronger woman who is actually starting to love herself. I am so proud of her and she inspires me.
As for me I have been having negative thoughts still about my ex boss/ex bf but I am not letting my past damage me. When he enters my mind I run to my piano, sing my heart out and play till my wrists are tired. I know I deserve a great man in my life.
I don't want to hassel him anymore, I won't worrying about what he did to me because now I am stronger and have learned a lot about toxic people.
I am prepared to just let him and that aspect of my life ho. I am letting go of the pain now. It's time to start living in the now and work on myself.
I had a great day today. I cleaned the house for mum so when she woke up she didn't have to anything, I did the bathroom, kitchen, folded the washed clothes and then I cooked dinner :)
I cooked roasted broccoli, cauliflower and sweet potatoe with roasted chicken woth rosemary. Then I straighten my mum's hair so she looked beautiful. I also been doing lots of craft so keep me busy.
I's funny I still have intense, scary painful feelings that intrude me out of the blue, but the fact is I have learned how to cope with these feelings. I have not yet let it bring me down to suicidal stage, I feel down but I just won't let the feelings get worse because I chose to be happy, I chose to change the way I think. I am challenging my negative thoughts.
I have not been self harming recently and though it's the easy option for relief I have been forcing myself to draw, play piano, go for a ciggarette *giggles* well anything that is not as damaging as self harm because I no longer want the easy way out. I don't want anymore scars and I want my life back.
I am going to get my life back, I promise you all, I am seeing life in a very different perspective. If my friend can overcome what she has gone through for all her life then it is possible for me and all of you to find happiness and peace to in ourselves.
Thank you all for your support, Im not giving up on life yet.
Bluewave
xxoo :):):)