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Written by justify2c 26. Mar 2008 09:35 PM

I'm so sick of my moods, up and down, happy (for a very short time), sad (most of the time) and mostly numb. I've been on Efexor 150mg for 2 years, seeing a counsellor for 2 years and here I still am..Why is it so bloody hard...why do I have to fight my mind so much and combat the negative thoughts constantly. I've tried all the different techniques and I know that what I may be thinking at a certain time is wrong and depressing but I just can't keep on fighting with my own mind. I've tried to come to terms with my depression and try to live with it but it isn't working. I'm isolated, socially withdrawn, been abstaining from sex for the last 2 years..have no sexual drive and I'm just fed up with it. Career is going good and I'm grateful for this but money and material things will not make you happy! I want to be at peace with my mind and not doubt so many things...Am i being to rude, am I to polite, am I to nice, am i to this..am it to that...please mind stop it! I can't keep on fighting my brain like this...leave me in peace..maybe there is just one solution...I'm scared of it..but it's there. Please, please God, Jesus, Holy Spirit help me..help all the poor people suffering like myself. I'm not trying to sound self pitiful and I know that there are people out there that are going through so much worse than me, but I just can't keep on fighting with my own mind...This is enough. Life is F!cked. This is shit. I can't take it anymore. Am I over exagerating...there i go again..feeling uncertain about my own thoughts again..STOP IT PLEASE, STOP IT.

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Comments from the community:

Justify

Not sure if it is worth anything ... but I was told about ACT ... i left the website on babz diary entry today.... the information given to me makes it sound like a possibility... especially the part you said about fighting your mind... you might like this... and if you are in Melbourne you might have access to the psychotherapist...

anyway...

the website http://www.actmindfully.com.au/

there is some merit in it for depression...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 26. Mar 2008 10:54 PM

Justify

We all have the moods/ups and downs. Role with the good and the bad and hopefully you will get more good than bad.

We are here for you if you need help/chat.

Go Justify!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 31. Mar 2008 05:43 PM

Hello :)

To answer your question to my last post. I am on 100mg Lamictol, 225mg of Effexor and 100mg of Seroquel to help me sleep. I have been on them for over 2 years however they have lowered in dose as my mood has improved.

As for you, I can understand the noise you wrestle with in your mind. Your entry takes me back to how I used to feel and I can assure you that peace of mind can come. However medication did little for me when it came to racing thoughts. What changed my noise into peace and quite was the fact I constantly talked about my feelings, talking to my psychologist everyweek.

You can do this too, I believe cognitive therapy is more benificial than just drugs. Also stop being so hard on yourself. You are clearly in distressed and you don't have to feel guilty about feeling sad because it's not your fault.

You are going through a difficult time and you are forgetting what a wonderful person you are and all your qualitites and kindness you have. However at times like this it's hard to see the good things in life, but write them down, remind yourself daily, even if you don't believe it your mind will gradually start to think realistically and positively all by it's self.

It will take time but you have us all to guide you through it, don't give up, recovery and happiness may just be around the corner!

bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 29. Apr 2008 03:06 PM

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