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Written by detergent 2. Feb 2008 12:11 AM

for all the don't know me... i'm an oldie! but still young and radiant. i like to think anyway. ok well i'm 22 and studying personal training. can you belive it!!! i'm at school i faced my fear of failing!!!! apart from that. With my study it canbecome very overwhelming at times. theres a lot to know about the human body. im talking about thephysical side. but as i have been feeling today is amazement... we are so blessed, yes at times are brains may not work the way we want them too. but we still are.. with everything our bodys do pump blood to our lungs to get oxygen in them so it can be then be pumped around he body... we do naturally sub conciusly! to make our bodies move is all these little signals ing sent. we are so blessed to be alive and to have functioning bodys. it is the small things like this that we need to take notice of. it doesn't mean we wont get angrie or upset we still will but i dunno...im just amazed by the power we have without even noticing. we can choose to let things overwhelm us and its not a bad thing if they do. but on the same token we can choose to let this feeling stay with us or we can get up and face what is overwhelming us and look it in the eye and laugh at it and poke our tounges out and just absoloutly kick its arse! not the same with depression i know. but im 22 i have permanent depression i've been seeing psychologists and counsellors for 3 or 4 years now... and i still see my psychologist. does it matter that i wont get over depression? no, because i have a choice in how enriched i am. i can stay where i am and still have niggling things or i can snap it all on the head and be happy with who i am what i have and who is in my life. i still mioght cry frequently, ocassionaly or every day. but atlest at the end of it all i will know who i am, will like myself, will be able to make smarter descions to benefit my health and not too benefit my social life or standing. you need to stand up for what you belive in and what you expect for yourself because no one else will! does it matter if someone isn't happy with your decsion? no. its your life and you need to do what makes YOU happy. true people will respect the descions you make. unless they are to delibarately cause pain to someone.
and no matter how unmotivated you feel exercise is always the best medicene. since i started on my health kick i have achive and felt so much better within myself. once you get in the habbit of it you will notice a huge change. you just need to push yourself sometimes but when you get there you will not regret it. sometimes even if its 5 minutes of feeling better its still a break from what sometimes feels like a never ending dark tunnel. hope i didn't bore you all too much... and if you made it this far thank you for taking the time out to read my ramblings! xoxo

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Comments from the community:

Hi detergent
I would'nt call them ramblings, i think that was well written and makes a lot of sense, i'm just going through the bit about it being my life and doing what makes me happy, i'm 33 and it has taken till now for me to realise i don't have to live my life the way my mum wants me too, myself and my own family need to come first, if that means doing something my mum does'nt approve of that is her problem not mine, look who's rambling now. Thank u detergent for ur entry.
Take care and stay true to yourself.

(((((detergent))))))

B1

Written by bananas, 2. Feb 2008 07:05 AM



It is great you have came to the point that you realise it is your life and you can choose to live it how ever you and it doesn't matter if others do not approve.

I don't feel at that point as yet but it is where I would like to be. It is a matter of building some self-confidence in myself which I don't have.

Thanks for a great read detergent

Written by jupiter, 2. Feb 2008 01:45 PM

Detergent

Nice to meet you.

You write very well and they are not ramblings. You have got to a happy point in your life with your depression, something we all want to achieve. I am pround you have put it out there for us all to think about how we can achieve it. I like you have seen a psychiatrist this time for 5 years and a psychologist for a year. I need to be honest with my psychiatrist as I haven't told him about an affair I had as it will hurt my partner who comes to my sessions with me. The psychologist knows because that is my time - where I don't have to think about my partner judging me for my actions, thoughts. It is good to have that me time and it is helping me a great deal.

Go Detergent!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 2. Feb 2008 08:29 PM