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Comments from the community:

hi detergent,

firstly you are not a " f... up".
You've summed it up, that you have made some decisions about where you will live and your new Job.

Now you recognize that it's too many changes at once.
Go back a few steps Darl. Maybe stay where you are living and cut down one day per week at work for a start. Then see how things go in a little while.
Maybe your next step will be to move.

Try not to expect sooo much of yourself all at once.
No one can live up to that. Embrace your achievements and discard your failures and learn from them.

All the best
stay strong
regards Lori :)

Written by Lori, 25. Jul 2006 10:32 AM

Well, you haven't signed up for life with this work routine. Payday will probably have you feeling better about things. If not, maybe you can modify....it is a lot all at once but clearly it is what you would like so I would like to see you have a go. I believe you can do it-depression tells us we can't and exagerates all our fears. It is normal for you to feel overwhelmed, but it is depression which makes us give up before we have tried. If it's what you want, Detergent, go for it. Head down, arse up. One foot in front of the other.
Give it yout best shot.

Written by Deleted_User, 25. Jul 2006 11:12 AM

Hi Manda

No way, you are not an 'F..." up. You're smart, cool and chique. All these changes are really generating lots of fears in you, however, there is NO WAY that you are going to set yourself up for failure is there? Why do you tell yourself such things - "Oh, I am going to fail"? They become a self-fulfilling prophecy over your life.

I think you are being sensible now, you say, too much change all at once and suddenly you realise that you might not be able to cope. Fine, that's an intelligent look at reality. Hmmmnnn, catch 22. Manda has had great success in finding a job, well done. I am proud of you, you did it people like you, want you and have given you an employment opportunity. You put a lot of effort into the training, you've studied and you've passed and made the grade. Look at the things one at a time. So, you did it. Congratulations, be proud of yourself. The job isn't the end of the world it is the beginning, the beginning of bigger and better things for you. Of course you would be worried, it will be demanding and you are scared of what it might expect of you and how you will cope. Hang in there and see how you manage, be wise and honest about things, if you're not coping with the demands talk to the boss about cutting back on hours at least that way s/he can already see that you are worth hanging on to and giving a go and will be happy to meet you half way. Giving in now is just defeatist and you won't be happy with that, it will reinforce your feelings of failure.

Moving out - well maybe it is all a bit too soon. I evaluate you home situation and think, wow, it's not good for you to be there cos it has a negative effect on you, but moving out and coping with a new job is all a little too much to deal with too. Why not hold back the moving out for a while. Give youself time to adjust to one major change at a time, find success in your job first. In the back of your mind you will have that little comfort to know that one day you will be independent too and living your own life, but not quite yet. Make your plans work to be good for Manda and enjoy that freedom, it's what we are all meant to do, it's part of growing up and taking responsibility for our lives - the plans we make, the things we do, the choices and the outcomes. Who's in a hurry to do that, take your time, do what you have to and plan for what you want to, what's the rush, it's better to be at peace in it all.

You're doing fine Manda, you are a smart lady. So, you have taken an opportunity, worked hard for it and succeeded. Now, take things one step at a time and develop confidence in your success, stress less and try to enjoy this new opportunity for what it is. You start work at a certain time, you do the job and then you finish at a certain time. In between there will be great experiences and demanding ones, the great experiences will make you think, wow, I'm glad I have this opportunity, the demanding experiences - well, that's life and you are not alone, there will be others working with you who have to deal with the same things - help each other, team work makes light work. No one expects you to jump through hoops and do the impossible.

Take care Manda
with love from Cath

Written by Anonymous, 25. Jul 2006 11:39 AM

Hi Manda,

You have achieved so much and should be very proud of what YOU have done. It is a normal reaction to feel overwhelmed as you do. But that DOESN'T mean you can't do what you set out to do.

No matter how together you are, no matter how hard you have worked on yourself, there are going to be days when you wouldn't know a positive thought it you fell over it. Fear is just an emotion don't allow it to rule your thoughts.

Give yourself a chance to adjust to your new decisions.
Leave the move to later... cut back on the work days if you can... Take ONE thing at a time.. you are not expected to do it all alone... help is there you just have to ask.

You did the study you worked your butt off and made it through.. you will make it through this also.

Deep breath, step back and reasses.

support always
Michelle

Written by mickey2, 25. Jul 2006 01:52 PM

hey Manda

Couldn't have said it any better than Cath has. We all get the "new job" jitters. No matter how confident we are. There's always that "what if" question in the back of our mind. You can do it, go for it girl you will do well. You so deserve it. Pay off time. And moving house is a big step for anyone. It brings on all the other responsibilities that we haven't had to attend to before. Maybe wait a little longer until you settle with your job if you feel it's too much right now. All the best.
Lotsa hugz

Written by Deleted_User, 25. Jul 2006 03:56 PM

hey Manda

Couldn't have said it any better than Cath has. We all get the "new job" jitters. No matter how confident we are. There's always that "what if" question in the back of our mind. You can do it, go for it girl you will do well. You so deserve it. Pay off time. And moving house is a big step for anyone. It brings on all the other responsibilities that we haven't had to attend to before. Maybe wait a little longer until you settle with your job if you feel it's too much right now. All the best.
Lotsa hugz

Written by Deleted_User, 25. Jul 2006 03:56 PM

what a great lot of responses to your post...i'm clearly not the only one who thinks you're a very special person...there's nothing random about that :)

we've already spoken, i'll keep this brief...just wanted to reiterate what i said to you in your last post:

'god help us to live slowly:
to move simply:
to look softly:
to allow emptiness:
to let the heart create for us.' - michael leunig -

balance and peace. silliness and laughter.

luv mutley (in louis vuitton)

Written by nadiap, 26. Jul 2006 05:07 AM