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A page in the diary "Ups and downs of my life"
Written by sammy1987 4. Jan 2007 05:33 PM

Today i read one of my old diaries...like one id written in...from 2004 before mum died. Before my trails for my hsc, i had done a maths test...and got 71%. its just so odd reading diaries from before Mum died..mind you i was just as sad and screwed up as i am now...but its been taken to more screwed up depths and has added depression into the equation.

But i am doing ok now...i think. I have my moments...i still get depressed and get in odd moods. Things still get to me easily and i get frustrated and angry and sad...but i am not sucicidal anymore, i dont want to end my life anymore....and i am no longer going to let people walk over me.

I sent off my tafe stuff today...so should get all that back soon and i can start my tafe stuff. :) :) :)

I miss elmo too....my cat. He was out down....and my diary had elmo in it. I might go find some photos and stuff....oh my elmo!

And sidie, i miss him heaps! And Carl...

Man...too many things!

This is a bit of a rambling entry....i have been...not myself since new yrs day....it was an awful day....

I will be ok!

I will be getting a job soon, money and doing my tafe course. And im gunna start tying to design my idea for my restaraunt...i need to have some sort of plan!

Oh i have decided i wanna go to Spain....it would be awesome!

Well catch yas later!

So many people are missed...mum, elmo, carl, sidie and my friends!

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Comments from the community:

Hi Sammy

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down and missing your departed loved ones. But you still have your memories of them all and no-one can ever take that away from you. Bring out their photos and have a good cry. Sometimes a good old cry can make us feel better.

It is such wonderful news to hear that you are no longer suicidal. You are young and beautiful and Sammy you have soooooo much to live for. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Working and going to TAFE and planning your restuarant will surely keep you busy and your mind off other things. I hope 2007 is a great year for you Sammy.

Love hugs and support
from Shadowdancer xxx

Written by Deleted_User, 4. Jan 2007 06:26 PM

Dear Sammy

As you acknowledged in your entry, you have come a long way, and dealt with lots of things.

Good for you for doing tafe, and getting excited about the prospect of going to Spain.

If you're going through a little downer, acknowledge it as you have done, ride it through, and know that you have hope and that you are doing well and will be OK.

Love kimberley
xoxo

Written by Anonymous, 4. Jan 2007 09:33 PM

Hi Sammy

Bit of a blast from the past. I hate looking at things I did before, as I have aged 15 years in the past 5, so it really gets me down to see old photos and such.

So I can imagine what reading the old diaries was like for you. So many people, and pets, no longer in your life.

But you've done so well since then. No longer suicidal; and no more letting people walk over you. Marvellous.

TAFE this year. Business plans. A trip to Spain. Go to it girl.

Be kind to yourself

Jenny

Written by Deleted_User, 4. Jan 2007 10:21 PM

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