negative and positive
A page in the diary "Tazzy's Diary"
Written by Tazzy17 23. May 2007 02:28 PM
this entry has some of my negative feelings and als some of my positive ones... i hope the positive wiins this time
i might be moving interstate... don has a friend in perth that might be able to find him a job and also find us a place to live. we are anxiously waiting a call from him tonight.
something i forgot to mention in my last entry. i recently got my tongue and nose pierced. i love having my tongue pierced, it has really helped with my anxiety - weird i know, but it has. my fiance thought it was great and so he got his tongue pierced a few weeks after i did. hes 36 yrs old and im 24 yrs, so its a real interesting experience for us. don as never had a piercing of any kind before... lol
i had to pawn off my engagement ring for money to pay bills... i wont be able to get it back... so i have no ring now. but i had to make that decision for both don and i. i would rather live without a ring, than starve... i still have don - thats the main thing
my fiance blames himself for this mess - but despite the hardship - its still an EXPERIENCE! if it weren't for don i would have been GONE by now - unable to experience anything - he saved my life in so many ways, so for me... every new day is a bonus, every bit of love i get to share with him makes it all worth it.
we have been to see social workers, but no one seems to be able to help us. i want to thanks everyone for their comments - kitty, im going to look up some backpacker hostels and see what we can do. Thanks!
i have now been diagnosed with "irritable bowel syndrome" due to stress. i hate getting up in the mornings because of it. i always have pains in the gut and stomache...
i just got over the flu. a few weeks ago it was tinea, few weeks before that it was tonsillitis, few weeks before that it was a bad head cold. all this in a few months. i just want to be healthy again. im tired of being sick - i was always such a healthy athletic kid... im sick of doctors.
today i did something great. i walked outside with my fiance from the shopping centre to home! i cant leave the house on my own due to anxiety and panic attacks, and i still have trouble even with don by my side - so this is a breakthrough for me! ill be seeing my counceller tomorrow, so i get to tell her. i hope this continues - i may be able to go out on my own one day!
i better get going - have to get the car soon
hope everyone is having a good day
tazzy
xxxooo