medication
A page in the diary "Tazzy's Diary"
Written by Tazzy17 15. Mar 2006 12:27 AM
well ive finally got back to my doctor because once again zoloft was NOT working for me - whatever possesed me to think it would this time round...
im on something else - cipramil??? something like that - and im back on the epilim for mood stabilisation. my appetite has virtually completely gone... and i really do think it has resulted in me losing some weight - which i dont actually mind - but id prefer to do it in a healthier way...
ive been having dangerous disturbing thoughts and dreams/nightmares again, hopefully this new medication will help to put a stop to them. ive done some silly things - but im ok for now. i know i have support out there, and my friends have been really proud of me for calling them - even in the middle of the night - rather than doing something stupid! one of my closest friends lives across the street - so she's generally my first call when im feeling... you know... BAD! thank god for her - she is my saving grace and i swear i will find a way to show her my appreciation.
a small message to everyone - make a call to a friend when you need to! please! it helps! sometimes it may not work out - but persist with getting the help - people generally dont offer to help unless they mean it! the help is there!!!
my relationship with don is weird at the moment. because of family and legal difficulties with his side of the family... i have to wait a few weeks for things to settle down. then maybe things will return to some type of normality.
i miss the intimacy... i really do! but today he brought me in a lovely little red rose and was really sweet to me - its so up and down... very confusing!
one time he got home and actually yelled at me for "accusing" him of something. i had a visiter at the time who is close to him, and she didnt have a clue what the hell was going on. after a few hours he called me from work and appologised for yelling at me
i get enough yelling and abuse from my father, i dont want or need it from my fiance. it will only make me scared of him and he has already said he never want me to be afraid of him... and i never should be.
but hopefully just a couple more weeks and some stresses will be sorted out and we can finally move on with our lives. that would be a very nice thing, seems like a dream for me at the moment.
anyway - i really better try and get some sleep. not that thats an easy task for me at the moment.
love and best wishes to all
tazzy
xxxooo