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Written by Tazzy17 15. Jan 2006 03:24 PM

well my fiance don is spending this week with his kids... which means that he has to stay at his ex girlfriends place to be with them!

today he did call me though - because he has a car now and he wanted to take me for a drive with the kids. we just drove around... i had only just woken up so i wasnt really in the best of moods. also, i thought i was going to get to see him tonight but plans have changed. it seems like everything is woking against me at the moment.

but... i get paid on wednesday so don, the kids and i are going to try and make it to the beach!!! i really hope we can because i havnt been to the beach in at least 10-12 years, and i really need some time with don to "talk"...

im having trouble with my medication. im constantly feeling sick, really really sick. im having trouble with my sleep - sometimes i go 3 days without sleep - and im bouncing off the walls till i drop and become like a zombie.

my mum and dad are always yelling at me and they still treat me like a child. yesterday they took the double bed sofa i was using away... so im back to sleeping on my single bunk beds... im 22 years old and still sleeping on the bunk beds i had as a child.

don and i aren't having much luck finding a place to live... sometimes i think some cosmic power is working against us... but maybe thats just silly to think that way. tomorrow i have another appointment with my case manager. im really thinking of cancelling all of my appointments and never going back, because its not getting me anywhere.

im just so tired. the way i am now is hurting my relationship with don. i know he loves me and wants to marry me, but i can see that he's getting frustrated with me, i totally understand it too - im getting frustrated with myself!!! im really worried that he will eventually get to tired of all my mood swings, and he'll ask for the ring back... ooohhh i cant help feeling so paranoid! i just want to be normal, why cant i just be happy and content!!! i love don and i cant imagine being with anyone else!!! i should be happy...

anyway, i better get going.
seeya
tazzy
xxxooo

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Comments from the community:

Hi there Taz,

Could your feeling sick and sleeping troubles be caused by stress over this whole thing with Don? I don't blame you for worrying, but you have to trust him and have faith in your relationship or what's the point? And your health is so important too.

I have said this before I know, but maybe you should try getting involved with some other friends or get a hobby that you're interested in to take your mind off things with Don. It would help you so much. :)

So why did your parents take your sofa bed away? Why are they treating you like a child? And why are you letting them? Staying with them only seems to be making things worse.

Do you have somewhere else you can stay until you & Don get a place? Why is it taking so long to find a place anyway? Sorry about all the questions, it just seems to be taking an awfully long time for you to find somewhere else to live. Surely there must be plenty of places available to rent! Are BOTH of you REALLY trying? Are you being too fussy?

I don't mean to sound harsh, and I'm sure you know I just have your best interests at heart. I'm just worried for you that's all. You sound like what I used to be like, in some ways, with my ex b/f. I made him the centre of my universe and believed whatever he told me. The whole time he was lying to me & using me and I just couldn't see it.

Please, please take care of yourself sweetheart. I really do care. :)

Luv, ((hugz)) & smiles
Gidge
xoxox

Written by Gidge, 15. Jan 2006 09:41 PM

Hi Taz
It really does sound like maybe your meds need adjustment.Maybe a visit to the doctor who prescribed them might be a good idea.It does take time to get used to different med, but some have side effects with one person and not with another. All of that needs proper medical advice. Then maybe your moods will settle.
Relationships are always difficult and especially so when you suffer from mood swings. If you are really worried about how things are with don, you could try some relationship counselling.
Your parents are probably just concerned for your wellbeing as parents find it difficult to draw the line between you being an adult or child. If you have not been well they probably see a need to protect you for longer than usual.Perhaps you could ask your case manager to help with a group meeting for your family, so that they understand how you feel and it might help to see why they are dealing with things in this way.Your family may seem difficult right now, but I am sure they are trying to do the best for you and maybe need some help from you to communicate.
Anyway, I hope all goes well and that you do get to the beach.
Light and love
Sue:)

Written by dontworrybehappy, 16. Jan 2006 01:28 PM

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