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All dressed up

A page in the diary "Jo's Learning Log"
Written by MissJ 6. Oct 2006 12:28 PM

I have eye makeup on to hide my puffy eyes. My cheeks are pink, my lips are red. My hair is done just so. I have earings in. I am wearing a bright red top with a plunged neckline, my jeans and red sandals. I am carrying a cute red clutch purse. I have my beautiful wedding and engagement rings on, and a braclet my husband bought me. I look in the mirror and even I have to concede - I look quite attractive.

It is a costume I am donning today to play the "happy girl who has it together".

In Scene 1, I have spent last night balling my eyes out for over 1 hour for no good reason. I have in desparation turned to my husband and begged him for help only to watch his face go blank and his eyes fill up with tears. No ideas there. I have turned to my dad for the same thing, and he has helped Adam and I to write down exactly how I was feeling to tell the psych when I next see him. I felt ashamed and lost and alone.

In Scene 2, two of my old friends from Uni come over and we catch up, go out to lunch and have a wonderful time. I smile a lot.

...

I am really looking forward to seeing the girls, don't get me wrong. But what if they see through the costume, the makeup, the smile and know how I envy them. They are teaching, they aren't trying to fight urges to cut themselves to let the pain out, they aren't going to see a mental health professional to tell them how to cope. And even now I say to myself - "They aren't you, you aren't them. So what if they see through it." Keep a hold of these positive thoughts, ignore and chase away the negative ones.

Aaaaah! I am wallowing and whinging. I will enjoy being with them. truly I will. But after they leave, the thoughts come and I don;t know how to control this self loathing...

Need to learn to control my self-talk. Almost like these voices in my head have a will of their own.

Love to all and light too.

Jo

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Comments from the community:

Hey Jo

U r beautiful - inside and out. Believe in yourself.

Stay positive. And like u said, it doesnt matter if they see thru the costume, it really doesnt matter. Go and enjoy yourself, dont worry about what they might see just relax and have a good time - be yourself and take it easy. Baby steps as we all say.

Your hubby is obviously feeling your pain and wishes he could magically fix it all for you. They feel useless - I know mine does - he just doesnt know what to do for me, so he helps with the house. I am so glad to hear that your Dad knows about yr dep and is helping you out. That is so fantastic. Its good to have family supporting you. So many dont have that.

Listening to quiet music & going for walks can often help with the ongoing negative dialogue - maybe look at buying some relaxation music - just a thought.

Hope you have a great time with your friends at lunch.

Take cares & hugz

Leah

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Oct 2006 01:48 PM

hugz jo

i am just the same at the moment. i hope no one sees the real me. the one who trys so hard not to cry. the one who trys to keep it together. but am falling apart again.

keep trying. keep talking to adam and find you. it might be that who you think you are and who you really are are different. i know that i am.

hope that your catch up with your friends goes well. good luck.
hugz and love
Libby

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Oct 2006 03:11 PM