feeling horrible
A page in the diary "The S**t in my life"
Written by esp 6. Feb 2008 11:28 PM
Just feeling really shitty.
UTI hasn't cleared up and i've already been on two courses of antibiotics. Ahhhh, just went to the doctor today- pregnancy test was negative- kinda sad even though it wasn't planned for me to get pregnant.
Just feel like crying for no reason. And as I sit here and type tears are flowing down my cheeks. I guess with the shit that has happened in my life i have a reason to be upset. It still angers me that two men have gotten off free and i suffer for the rest of my life with flashbacks of the assaults. In some way it makes me feel like i'm not important. That my body is something that people can just use and abuse as they please, that I have no say what happens. I hate this!!!
A friend from work rang me today which was nice. I had mentioned one of my assaults briefly to her one day. and today she rang- she was ringing cause she wanted me to work some of her shifts, plus she said she was part of something to do with making you feel better about your life- something like that- i've got a memory like a sieve so can't exactly remember. Anyways she was asking if I wanted to go through some of the stuff with her, she thought it may help me- which was nice of her to think of me- she's coming over on monday for a cuppa after she picks her daughter up from school. What a nice person to have her think about me when she could of just left it as a work relationship. She's just a few years younger than my mum, and there you go more friends older than me. Oh well I prefer older friends- more reliable, get good advice off them to cause in most cases they've been there done that so to speak.
It's my birthday on Sunday- turning 25- i keep forgeting it's that soon, but family keeps reminding me. Even though people keep confusing me as a 16 year old- so annoying. And absolutely hate how people talk down to me, talk to me like i'm a child and know nothing. Especially find this at work, cause i'm usually in charge of people over double my age, they don't really like to be told what to do from someone younger.
Sorry for the ramble, but it helps to get it out.