A family member of mine suffers from Depression, a
Written by
melbix
18. Sep 2002 02:05 PM
A family member of mine suffers from Depression, and has for about 5 years. How can we help him to understand that if he doesn''''t take his medication he will keep having his lows? From those of you who suffer from Depression - how can a family member help most when you are at your worst?
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I am a sufferer, and believe that the best thing y
Written by
Reagan
28. Sep 2002 10:52 PM
I am a sufferer, and believe that the best thing you can do is to tell him that you are there for him, and be there for him when he needs you.
He WILL turn to you when he wants to, and don''t try and force this issue with him.
Eventually he will wake up to the fact that if he uses his medication he will get better.
Unfortunately for you, you cannot MAKE him take his meds.
My advice would be to remind him, say with a note on the fridge or something, but don''t pester him about it.
It does seem that people are on your case more than they really are when you are depressed.
The last thing you want to do is drive him away.
I hope this helps you...remember, he is more confused than what you are!!
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Melbix. The best answer I can give you as to how b
Written by
Anonymous
17. Oct 2002 02:35 PM
Melbix. The best answer I can give you as to how best you can help is. Learn to listen; not just to hear but to really LISTEN. Lowline
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Perhaps you can give this person some space, and t
Written by
IcePak
9. May 2003 06:34 AM
Perhaps you can give this person some space, and this will help him to realise that they should be taking their meds because it will make him feel better. But don´´t distance yourself from him - just give him some space.
And try to be positive around him.
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i suffer from pnd , i found that when peopl
Written by
Anonymous
13. May 2003 03:23 PM
i suffer from pnd , i found that when people would distance them selves from me, i would feel as if they didn´´t care.. where as they thought they were actually helping me by doing so..., what ever you do don´´t distance yourself, you will just have to be patient with them.
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Thanks for the advice. It´´s helpful t
Written by
melbix
19. May 2003 05:55 PM
Thanks for the advice. It´´s helpful to get other people´´s opinions!
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I am at the sage where I really have had enough an
Written by
Mack
20. Jun 2003 06:08 PM
I am at the sage where I really have had enough and want to sort myself out for my husband and children´´s sake. Can anybody help.
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I am at the sage where I really have had enough an
Written by
Mack
20. Jun 2003 06:08 PM
I am at the sage where I really have had enough and want to sort myself out for my husband and children´´s sake. Can anybody help.
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Hi there i have a friend who is suffering from sev
Written by
DarkLord
16. Sep 2003 06:48 PM
Hi there i have a friend who is suffering from severe depression as well as that shes my girlfriend she has been sexually harassed by her father for 5 years is beaten and takes drugs as well as that she has a disease that is slowly killing her and she says she only has about a year left to live. On top of that shes 13 and shes not allowed to go out of her house to go to the doctors to go anywhere only to school. Shes already tried to kill herself on several occasions but she didnt because i interviened and stopped her. Her parents dont give a damn and she only has a few true friends. She stays away from other people and still gets bagged by them. I dont no what to do can any one help????
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How to help people in a crisis...
Written by
theOwl
18. Jan 2007 11:03 AM
Well, when I have depressive episode, I don't like people telling me that I just need to be positive, or give me advice about my problems. I usually just want a hug, or a rub on my back, and for someone to just sit next to me and wait it out with me. Maybe ask me some questions. The worst thing I find is when the other person starts panicking coz they "just don't know what to do"... it makes me feel isolated, and like the person is throwing the situation into the "too hard basket"... i think they think "i just can't deal with this"... do not leave me by myself, because that just makes it worse. asking if they want a glass of water or tea is nice...
here is a document i found on a website. it's for borderlines (one of their symptoms is depression).. but i gave it to my boyfriend, and i think it's pretty useful.
Top 25 Things NOT to Say (or do) to Someone in Crisis
By Lisa Dietz
# 1. Tell them to stop thinking about the past.
# 2. Try to relate to them by comparing what they are telling you to your own experience like the time when your purse was stolen or you went through your divorce.
# 3. Use what they are saying as an invitation to talk about how bad you're feeling.
# 4. Tell them that everything happens for a reason.
# 5. Walk away, hang up the phone, or laugh.
# 6. Tell them how strange/foolish/crazy they are to feel or think such things.
# 7. Invite them to have sex.
# 8. Interrupt them to tell a funny story about your cat.
# 9. Tell them they couldn't possibly be feeling or doing or thinking whatever they just told you.
# 10. Tell them that their feelings are silly, meaningless or inappropriate.
# 11. Try to solve their problems for them.
# 12. Tell them to pray to Jesus.
# 13. Ask them lots of questions about their past.
# 14. Tell them to "pick themselves up by the bootstraps" and get on with life.
# 15. Tell them to talk to a psychiatrist (so you don't have to listen).
# 16. Try to cheer them up by telling jokes or uplifting stories.
# 17. Offer them a drink (alcoholic).
# 18. Tell them how much better you would have handled the situation.
# 19. Tell them that whatever they're upset about or whatever they have experienced is God's will.
# 20. Dramatize their pain by being shocked at everything they say.
# 21. Give them unsolicited advice.
# 22. Pretend they're not really in crisis and change the subject.
# 23. Tell them that they're letting their imagination run wild.
# 24. Compare what they're telling you to other people you know who are crazy, hospitalized, manic, schizophrenic, and/or dead (especially when they've committed suicide).
# 25. Tell them that someday they'll look back at this and laugh.
How to Recognize if Someone is in Crisis
First, do you already know that they suffer from:
# 1. Manic depressive or bipolar disorder
# 2. Chronic depression
# 3. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
# 4. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
# 5. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
# 6. Suffered the death of a loved one in the last two years
# 7. Working a 12-step program
# 8. Does not have a diagnosis that you know about but is clearly depressed, agitated, upset, anxious, grieving or had a traumatic childhood or suffered a traumatic event.
If you already know this about the person, then the following comments are almost certainly "a cry for help," which means that they need someone to listen, acknowledge their pain, and witness their process.
# "I'm having a hard time."
# "XYZ experience brought up a lot of things for me."
# "I'm depressed."
# "I can't talk or think right now because I'm too upset."
# "I had a triggering experience."
# "I want to go out and drink (or do something dangerous, or hurt someone, or hurt themselves).
# "I wish I was dead."
# "I'm having a breakdown."
# "I can't take it anymore."
This is your cue to stop and listen by following up with an affirming statement like:
# "What happened?"
# "Are you okay?"
# "Can you name (or be m
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...
Written by
theOwl
18. Jan 2007 11:05 AM
This is your cue to stop and listen by following up with an affirming statement like:
# "What happened?"
# "Are you okay?"
# "Can you name (or be more specific about) what you're feeling?"
# "I'm listening. Tell me more."
Things to Say (or do) to Help Someone in Crisis
# Acknowledge their feeling
# Witness their process
# Affirm their right to speak
# Validate their experience
# Listen without judgment
# Allow them to process what is going on
# Let them cry
Be sensitive about holding their hand or putting your hand on their shoulder, but do not offer any more physical contact without their initiation. (Remember that for people who have suffered trauma and abuse, physical contact may be upsetting rather than comforting.)
Say things like:
# "That sounds really difficult."
# "Is there anything I can do to help?"
# "It sounds like you're in real distress."
# "It sounds like you're having a crisis."
# "It sounds like you're very upset."
# "I hear how awful that must be for you."
# "I'll bet that brought up some difficult feelings."
# "It's okay to cry."
# "I'm here for you."
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