Not sure what to do for the best
Written by
mactayls
9. Jan 2006 03:24 PM
My friend suffers from depression, and the second time she tried to kill herself I was there to help her husband call the ambulance etc. He was falling apart!
I am a sufferer myself, and she knows this, and I thought this would mean that she would open up to me and we could help each other through this.
She has simply closed herself off to everyone and won't talk about it. When I see her she just pretends that everything is OK. Her husband talks about it more to me that she does!
I have told her she can talk to me anytime, and asked her to call me when she felt down so we could talk about it.
Last weekend she ran away from home and threatened to kill herself again. I was actually angry at her for not calling me, and for hurting those around her. Her husband rang to ask if I had heard from her. Eventually she contacted him and her councellor talked her to coming back.
How can I help someone that doesn't wanna be helped?
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someone in need of help.
Written by
a-Leng
9. Jan 2006 10:52 PM
I think your friend does want help, and everything she does suggests this.
I guess the best thing for her at the moment is to continue seeing the counsellor on a regular basis and probably a good idea, if not already done, is to get her to see a psychiatrist, because it sounds like she may need medication.
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Be proactie - not reactive
Written by
MissJ
13. Jan 2006 03:47 PM
My advice is to take a proactive stance here. I had friends who told me to call them whe I needed help. I never did, and probably never would. Too shameful and too high a risk of more rejection and hurt.
I also had mates who would just pop in and chack in with me - those were the ones I truly appreciate and finally felt I could rely on. (That is another story, becuase it back fired - so once you have this ladies trust - don't let her down, it will break her).
Good luck. She is lucky to have such a caring friend. Take care, love and light
MissJ
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persistance, support, non invasive
Written by
bluewave
4. Jul 2006 03:55 AM
You can only support her, no one can make her feelings go away. Yes it is fustrating and hurtful for you to feel helpless. But though she may seem to going into a downward spiral and closing off you have to be persistant with your support.
Don't force her to get help or see someone, just remain to suggest the idea, regularly tell her that you will listen and be there for her emotionally. It is then up to her to accept your help and help from others.
She seems to be crying out for help, to find a way to dael with her feelings, stick to being a supportive friend, I'm sure she will seek for help, maybe not to you, but hopefully someone.
the main thing is to remain persistant, positive and fairly neutral. Sometimes just telling someone all the bad feelings you feel, telling someone you want to kill yourself can help. Even if no solution is made, saying it out loud for me personally seemed to relieve pressure.
stay in there
bluewave
xxoo
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symptoms are individual
Written by
Deleted_User
15. Jul 2007 07:49 PM
Just because you're also suffering of mental illness its not an insurance that you can connect with another sufferer.
Help is a big word, if you really suffer mental illness you would know that help is silent, non invasive and almost an omnipotent grace.
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