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Written by
wotcrazyness
2. Aug 2005 12:03 AM
I worry constantly and am scared about the effect that growing up with a depressed mother will have on my kids. My daughter missed out on 9 months of me while I was sick and suffering AND while pregnant with my son. Then with PND and now generalised depression, neither of my kids (at 6 1/2 and 4 1/2) would remember or know anything other than it being normal for Mummy to lose her temper periodically in very hysterical ways, to withdraw from both them and their Dad often, to find it difficult to smile or to get out of bed, seeing irregular eating habits, seeing their Dad pick up more than his share of the household workload... The list goes on. It is not what I envisage a family should be, and I don´´t think it´´s setting healthy role models (understatement!). What am I doing to their mental health and life expectations? What can I (realistically) do to prevent any lasting damage? And lastly, how do I protect my husband from burn-out picking up all my pieces?
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Written by
loll13888
25. Aug 2005 03:42 AM
Hi wotz.
I TO FEEL THE SAME AS MY HUSBAND HAS TO DO MORE THAN HIS SHARE AND MY CHILDREN MUST THINK THEY HAVE WON THE WRONG LOTTERY WITH ME,and it seems to me that it has had an impact on my youngest son i dont know for sure if it is me or if he would have become so stresed even if i was not like this but i wish i had the answers.
I hate being like this and try so hard to hide it,but you just cant as we all live in the same house and they see and hear everything,except i think they remember the worst more than the good,my eldest child is so good to me i think he has grown up way to fast for having to put up with me being this way,and at this moment i am so scared my husband is ready to leave,and i would not blame him,but i would never cope with out him,and the boys would be a mess without him as he is the only one they can depend on i try so hard but always manage to screw it up some how,but i dont think that we cant really do anymore than hope that they understand,what it is that makes us like this and give them as much information as possible about depression without making them worry to much,i really dont know and am in the same boat as you it rips my heart out every time they see me sick,and thats when i wish i was not here.sorry not much help love loll xx
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The Impact We Have
Written by
happyorsad
23. Nov 2005 07:09 PM
Hi Wot,
I know exactly how you feel. My eldest son who turns 10 next month has been recently diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression. I KNOW I have had a massive impact on his short life and the guilt seems to eat me away. I only hope that as I get better, he does too. I have 3 younger children then him, being 8yrs, 3yrs & 1yr. I forever tell my kids to "go away" - "not today" - "shutup" etc. etc. I'm sure they think the only thing that comes from my mouth is yelling, and God knows I HATE being like this, but sometimes it's either that or I'll just walk away from it all never to be seen again. I constantly doubt myself as a mother, but I have absolutely no support from friends or family (I have tended to stop seeing/talking to people) so I just have to keep managing - somehow........... YES our children do suffer, I'm not too sure of the degree yet, and God I hope they forgive me when they are old enough to understand the question why...........
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